Diary of a Falafel Lord

Friday

Alex is continuing her bathroom crusade with her brave army of queer and trans undead. And boy she knows how to cause a stir when she wants.
We were sitting at dinner with that new kid, Charlie. He doesn't eat. I have never seen him eat. He just sits there with no food, drumming his fingers on his book and staring at us without blinking. The only part of him that moves apart from his hands is his mouth, that sometimes twitches at strange moments. Not even when we've told a joke. He's started chilling with us, mostly because no one else will sit with him. He's not strong, he might be smart, he's definitely a nerd, and probably not that much of a warrior.
Halfborn was telling us about this time in Flåm when he went fishing and accidentally caught one of those water horses, the ones that Mallory has one of. (He's called Flavio, and pops up in various bathtubs sometimes). According to the story, he fought off the beast before it could drag him under and then drank its innards mixed with the blood of a sea serpent. Mallory...was sceptical.
Then Alex threw a cup at the ceiling. Like, a huge tankard with all of her force. It exploded and glass went everywhere. I mean, everywhere. Everyone started bleeding and went very quiet. Alex got up on the table and started to yell something like: "HELGI OF THE SAXONS!! I AM A GIRL!! I WILL GO IN THE BOYS BATHROOM, BECAUSE I'M NOT A BOY! YOU TALK ABOUT HAVING PEOPLE GOING INTO THE BATHROOM OF THEIR SEX SO THAT YOUR PRECIOUS WARRIORS AREN'T PERVY TO THEM? WELL HOW IS SENDING A GIRL INTO THE GUYS BATHROOM GOING TO STOP THAT? HOW IS SENDING A GIRL INTO THE GUYS LOO GOING TO STOP GIRLS FROM GETTING PERVED ON AND RAPED?"
And then - and it was amazing - about fifty warriors who were there stood up and started yelling and throwing stuff at Helgi. I even hurled my dinner. I think that Eikthrynir - our magical mead deer - was getting mad as well, leaping around and jetting his mead everywhere. Helgi had to run for his life. Literally.
Charlie leapt up and charged him, leaping over the table and whaling him with his encyclopaedia until Hunding dragged him away. TJ let loose rifle fire on the staff table and killed most of the senior einherji. He'll probably get in trouble later, but.....he's TJ.
Later, we were all chilling in the lounge when some of the officials came in. Sam was with them. They grabbed Alex, without talking to us even when we asked them what was going on, and dragged her out. Sam was crying, and I'm hoping she'll be okay.
I'm hoping that they both will be okay.
Here's to Alex,
Maggie.