Diary of a Falafel Lord

Monday

Odin arrived in the morning.
We didn't see him until the afternoon, but Charlie did. He'd been on a supply raid for toilet paper, because Gunhilde's friends hadn't brought enough for the next few days, and he'd come back running and panting. Without any toilet paper, but Alex says that that's beside the point.
He'd come skidding into our war counsel (where we'd been discussing Odin's arrival) and started yelling about crows and PowerPoint presentations. Alex had taken him into a separate room and gotten him to calm down enough to tell her everything that he'd seen. When he came out, they were both shaking. Alex shook her head and cleared her throat.
"Guys, Odin's here." She said. I remember the ripple of fear that spread out through the Queer Army. Odin might be an idiot, but he was a powerful idiot. A couple of people looked towards the door as if the situation had gotten out of hand and they would be happy to just leave now. "Apparently he's giving a PowerPoint presentation to the staff, valkyries, and remaining einherjar. About their battle plans." She turned to Sam and Amir, who had been staying with us. Amir mostly for food, and Sam because she had a real reason to be there - give her sister and all. "You should probably go. It wouldn't be good if they found a mortal and the head of the valkyries with us."
As they left, Alex took a shaky breath. I stepped up to her and took her hand. She slapped it away and cupped them around her mouth. "YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THEM! FUCK ODIN AND THE STAFF FOR NOT LISTENING TO US!!"
A couple of warriors cheered. Alex grinned.
"I'm gonna hold a war council now. Charlie, Maggie, Mal, HG, TJ and-" Gunhilde coughed pointedly. "Fine. Gunhilde, and I. We'll go into Maggie's room. And try and think up a plan to defeat the all father. Keep sewing."
I grabbed one of the plates of falafel and followed the rest of the warriors into my room. Alex and I sat on my bed, and everyone else arranged themselves on pillows, seats, and the ground. Alex stole a piece of my falafel and shrugged to the group.
"It's pride parade tomorrow." She said nonchalantly. (That's my big word for the day, diary.)
Gunhilde shrugged. "So? We're being trapped in some newbie floor with no toilet paper and a mortal."
"Alex has a plan though." I said. "Right, Alex?"
Alex flopped back on my bed, almost squashing the falafel. "Yeah."
"Spit it out!" Mallory said, flicking lint out from underneath her fingernails with her knife. Alex propped herself up on one elbow and let herself smirk.
"It's a brilliant plan." I assured them. Alex shot me a side-eye.
"You've got no idea what the plan is, Mango. We're going to storm the feast hall of the slain throwing glitter everywhere and wearing our pride outfits." Alex said, glaring out at us. "With weapons for any resistance. And we'll keep covering everything in glitter until they listen to us and let us use our bathrooms. Okay?"
We all agreed.
Charlie lifted his hand, the sunlight shining through his thin fingers. His bulging eyes - pale blue and flickering - stared out without blinking. A smile curled across his bleached lips. Alex pointed to him.
"The chair recognises Charlie."
"They just don't understand." He said, almost without moving his lips. He had a slight lisp. "They don't think that you can be a gender other than the one that you were born as. And what does Odin listen to?"
"Dubstep?" Mallory suggested. "Ed Sheeran?"
"PowerPoints." Charlie said, not getting the joke. Alex grinned at him.
"Well done, Charlie m'boy! You're now official tech nerd. Make some PowerPoints or whatever. That's the backup plan now." She announced. Charlie smiled weakly. I stared at him, realising that that was the first time I'd ever heard him talking. Even Gunhilde looked impressed.
Okay but seriously - he creeps me out. He's always following Hearth around, staring after him. And he looks creepy. I mean, I've seen plenty of creepy people on the streets, but he is scary creepy. It's like someone cut him out of paper, and forgot to colour him in. Everything bulges - joints, eyes, cheekbones, and HE DOESN'T BLINK. EVER.

Tomorrow everything will happen.
Tomorrow we'll see Odin.
Tomorrow we'll live or die.
Hoping not to die,
Maggie Magnus Mango Cheese Beantown