Are You Happy Now?

entry twelve.

You fucked with my head today. You played mind games with me. 

"You don't deserve him."

"He doesn't love you."

"He wants you dead like the rest of us."

"He doesn't care. No one does."

"You're worthless."

"He doesn't want you."

I'll admit I should have known better but I didn't. I let those words shatter me. And George was unfortunately shattered by the impact. I rushed to the bathroom sobbing thinking he didn't love me. I picked up my phone, my hands shaking and called George. He picked up and asked me what was wrong. All I blurted out was that he doesn't love me and asked if he wanted me dead. Anxiety dripped in his words when he asked who told me that. I whisper your name and he muttered if I was kidding him. He heard me crying and sat on the phone telling me everything he loved about me.

"I love your well good hair that you let me run my hands through." 

"I love your gorgeous smile that can brighten anyone's day."

  "I love your beautiful eyes that crease when you smile."

"I love your amazing lips that always comfort me when I feel down."

"I love your perfect hands that you let me hold."

"I love your round cheeks that you don't like me pinching." 

"I love your smart ass mouth that you speak to me with even when you don't feel like talking." 

"I love your cute legs that I wrap around my waist when I haven't seen you in a long time." 

"I love your gorgeous face that you bury in my chest when you feel like shit." 

"But most of all I love you (Y/N). Don't let anyone tell you differently."

I sniffed and chuckled. My insides warmed with a fuzzy feeling. Feeling of love. I told him all the things you said to me and he was disgusted at how cruel you are. I didn't want him to hurt you so I said I wasn't hurt. All I had to say is that you hurt me and he'd kill you. I told George I'd been through worse. That I was fine.

I was okay.

I was okay.

I was okay.

I wasn't okay. 

Nothing is okay.