It's been three days since I wrote in this. I've been too busy making an important decision to go to school. To eat. To sleep. I was tired, hungry, conflicted, upset, hurt. I stood in the morning earlier and I saw all your hurtful words spiral above my head. You were right. I was worthless. I was a slag. I didn't deserve George. I love him but he didn't deserve a fuck up like me. I hated myself. You made me feel like shit. I forgive you though.
My parents haven't talked to me since I came back after running out. I mean my mum tries to take me out shopping but I know we'd shop and then she'd drag me to the doctors. And I didn't want to go. I reached out to a couple of close friends from my old school telling them that I appreciate them for putting up with me. How tragic is it that I've live 15 long years and don't even want to make it to 16? I should know the answer but I don't. I'm stupid like you say I am. But then you were cruel so you tried to do anything to put me down.
I want to live. Get through my education. I wanted to take George to prom with me. Get the grades I wanted and chase my dream job. I wanted to get married, have kids. Travel. Go to concerts. Have a good house.
But my mind couldn't take any more misery.
But I wouldn't feel like that anymore.
I'm going to be free.
Finally free.
I'm sorry who I hurt in the process.
I'm so sorry.
