Under the stars || James McVey

chapter ten

James' POV

We stayed up pretty late last night, we had left The Rogers - the restaurant Katherine worked at - around half past nine, and crashed at mine playing Fifa until early hours of the morning. Well, the boys did, I'd fallen asleep during our gaming session and woken up in the living room to three snoring lads surrounding me. I sighed heavily and outstretched my arms with a yawn, before standing up and walking to the kitchen for a drink.

I plucked out a glass from the cupboard and shifted over to the sink and ran the tap. Whilst I was waiting for the water to get cold enough, I stared out of the window at the dusk sky and let my thoughts take over my mind. It wasn't exactly a peaceful sleep, the dreams still came. I looked down at the tshirt that was clung to my chest with sweat, and a shiver ran down my spine. I closed my eyes and ran over the events, trying to make sense of them. Of course, I knew what they were about but I never really understood why they were happening, why it's affected me so strongly.

I'd almost forgotten where I was, my vision and thoughts clouded, until a voice spoke from behind. I jumped and spun, letting the glass slide out of my grasp where it smashed against the floor. I looked up from the mess I made to see my little sister running towards me, an unreadable expression on her face.

"For Christ's sake, James. What are you doing?!" She screeched at me, before she pushed me out of the way and turned off the tap. I winced at her sudden actions and stumbled backwards, and when I looked down, I saw a little pool of blood that had stretched across the floor and the shard of the glass sticking out of my left foot, more blood threatening to spill out. At seeing my current state, Isabelle screamed at the sight and ran out calling for my mother. I rolled my eyes at her ridiculous fear of blood and swiped a teatowel from the side, before I carefully pulled the glass piece from my foot, letting it fall to the floor and wrapped myself in the towel to hopefully stop the bleeding.

Seconds later, the boys all ran in with panicked expressions, my parents moments later with Izzy on their trail. "It's alright," I said calmly. "I just wasn't paying attention and had a little accident." I hoped the smile on my face was enough to convince them, but from the look of my mother's face, I knew it wasn't.

"James, honey, are you alright?" She asked, walking over to me, carefully avoiding the mess I'd made on the floor. I nodded and she gently upwrapped the towel on my foot and sucked in her breath at the sight of the nasty cut that looked a hell of lot worse that I thought originally. "This looks quite deep, we're going to have to take you to the hospital. You may need stiches." She explained, before she wrapped the towel back around my foot, neater than I had.

Great, hospitals. This is just what I need.

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We'd been sitting in a room for what felt like hours. Brad, Tris and Connor were all told to stay at home with Isabelle and my dad, while my mum took me to me to my worst nightmare. I'd been in this place that often, it felt like a second home to me, not like that's much to be proud of. I was starting to get sick of the same white walls and white overcoats and clipboards and the same old questions.

I'd had several stitches in my foot and was told I'd have to wait in this closed off room until my doctor arrives, which seemed to be a lot longer that the few minutes the nurse had promised. With the constant staring off of my mother and the smell of death clogging my nose, I swear I would have passed out there and then, if it weren't for the sudden opening of the door to reveal my usual doctor, Dr. Falcone. I didn't think I'd ever been more relieved to see her.

"Hello James, Jennifer" she greeted before she took the seat adjacent to the inclined seat/bed thing I was sat on.

"Hello Deborah" Mum greeted back with a faint smile.

"Now James, it seems like you've got a pretty nasty cut on your foot. Luckily all of the glass was taken out, and it's stopped bleeding, but you've had a fair number of stitches and will need to be back in a couple of weeks to have them taken out." If she hadn't of been so helpful to me over the past year, I think I would've killed her for being so patronising. Thankfully, I'd learnt to somewhat suppress my anger, and nodded to let her continue. She smiled and continued to ask the predictable questions. "Can you tell me what happened? Why you hurt yourself?"

"God, you make it sound like I intentially did this. You've got the report, read that." I snapped, my temper bubbling inside.

"I'd like to hear it from you, not from papers" She said, her smile faltered slightly.

"It's the same thing, isn't it?"

"James, just answer the damn question!" My mother said in a clipped tone. I looked over her, her eyes pleaded at me, and I raised my arms in defeat with a heavy sigh.

"Alright, sorry." I mumbled. "I got distracted with my thoughts and Izzy's voice just startled me, so when I turned, the glass fell from my hands." I said, in a shrug. My doctor and my mother exchanged worried glances with each before turning their attention back to me.

"Thoughts about what, James?" Dr. Falcone asked, her hands clasped together whilst she looked at me intently.

"I had another dream" I said in a hushed tone.

"The same one?" I nodded and I heard my mother sigh heavily. I looked down at my hands and refused to look at either of them. 

"They're getting worse," I whispered, more to myself than anything.

I'd zoned out a little then, not wanting to hear anymore. I heard a faint discussion about extra hospital appointments and different medication, but listening to this stuff was never my best suit, so I left it to my mother, as usual. Something about this discussion made me realise how bad it was, I'm not going to change, they will still come.

They're getting worse.