Under the stars || James McVey

Chapter twelve

James’ POV

I knew coming to this party was a bad idea. The guys had roped me into it, seen as I hadn’t been to one of these things in a while. I didn’t want to come, but Tristan can be very persuasive when he wants to be.

“Come on, James, it’ll be fun.” He says, dragging me to his car. I was the designated driver, seen as I didn’t drink anymore. That was one of their bribes, they needed someone to look after them and drive because they couldn’t be trusted on their own. Oh, how they can blackmail.

We’d just arrived at the party, we were late after Connor told me the wrong street and directed me incorrectly – he sure was something – but it was still early, probably about half ten, when we finally made it through the door. The party was thrown by some guy called Rich, one of Tris’ friends. I used to attend all of his parties because they were the best, and that’s where I was when it happened.

I hadn’t been to a party in over a year, so let’s just say Rich was a little surprised when he saw me stroll through the door with the three boys.

“James, where the fuck have you been man? It’s been a long time.” He says, pulling me in for bear hug. His breath stunk of cheap bear and cigarettes, not a very nice combination.

“Yeah, I got a little busy.” I replied with a shrug.

“Ok man, drinks are that way, and I’ll tell ya, there’s a lot of bangin’ chicks here tonight so.. have fun!” He shouts, after pointing towards the kitchen and then stalks off, wrapping his arm around a random blonde and chugging heavily on his beer. I shake my head at him and was caught off guard when a familiar red head saunters up me and places a red cup in my hand.

“No thanks, Anna. I’m all good.” I say, handing the cup back to her. She laughs and tries to shove the drink at me, again. I shake my head and hand it to Connor, who gulps it down immediately.

“Fuck, James. You come to a party and don’t drink. Who the fuck are you? That Emily slut really did a number on you, didn’t she?” She laughs and sips her drink. At the mention of her name, my stomach flips and I feel sick. My hands clench by my sides and before I get a chance to tell the fake bitch in front of me to do one, Tristan grabs me by the arm and tugs me towards the back of the house.

“James, she’s not worth it. Just go walk around, ok, and chill. I’ll keep Anna away from you.” He says smiling. He taps my shoulder in a comforting way before joining Brad and Connor at the drinks table. Instead of standing there like an idiot, I decided to take a lap of the house. I’d been here so many times, you would’ve thought we’d know the directions to it, but considering we’d always be intoxicated with alcohol, I guess we never memorised the route.

Upon scanning the area, a familiar laugh rang through my ears, turning my attention to a short girl with flowing brunette curls falling down her back. She turned slightly and I recognised her instantly. Katherine.

I turned my attention to what she was laughing at and saw her two female friends grinding with two guys to the loud music. Katherine shook her head in amusement, a smile so wide that it made me smile. Seeing that she was on her own, I decided to make my way over to her. I didn’t feel like being on my own either, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t. Nobody likes being alone, despite how much they feel like they should be. I feel like I should be on my own, may be for the better because I deserve it, but I don’t think she does. Why would she?

I tab her shoulder lightly and cause her to jump so that she falls into the side of the kitchen unit and wince in pain. Way to go, James.

“Shit, sorry!” I exclaim as she clutches her side. She seemed uneasy on her feet so I secured my hands on her waist to keep her from falling. She seemed a little tipsy. “Are you alright?”

She looks up at me then with alarm and her green eyes widen. “James, hi.”

 “Are you ok?” I ask again. She nods in response and lets her eyes trail down to her sides where my hands were still located. I quickly removed them, feeling rather awkward, and give her a small smile. As if she could see the falseness behind the smile, her eyebrows furrowed slightly with concern.

“James? Are you ok? You seem upset,” she says, looking deeply into my eyes. She knew something was wrong with me immediately, and she looked as if she understood me when she asked, but she couldn’t possibly know how I feel. She couldn’t know what happened, unless my mother had told hers, but even then, they haven’t been friends for years, why would they discuss something like that? It’s not right. Sensing my wariness, she tilted her head, waiting for my response. I didn’t know why but I felt like I could talk to her, and she wouldn’t judge me for what I had to say.

“Do you want – “As if on cue, my annoyingly drunk best friends stumbled into us, interrupting my sudden courage. I couldn’t handle the noise anymore when Brad and Connor begun bickering, and Katherine’s laughter filling the room. I turned to Tristan to tell him I needed some air, making my way through the masses of people, not bothering to respond to the calling of my name. The moment for talking to people had passed and I needed to be on my own so I could breathe and calm myself.

I made it to the garden and sat myself down on the patio steps to recollect my thoughts. My mind was racing and I needed something to sustain it, but the only remedy was alcohol, which was never going to circle through my veins again. I made a vow to myself to never lose control, to never give up for selfish reasons, to become a better person, and right now, I was doing a shitty job of it. I look down at my fumbling hands and try to clear my head and breathe, but my breath hitched and my head felt light.

I couldn’t remember what happened next. All I remember is my head hitting the hard ground and my mind slipping into a dark abyss.