Under the stars || James McVey

Chapter fourteen

James’ POV

I don’t know how long we stayed like this, but at some point during the night, we had both managed to fall asleep. Light creeps in through the window and casts rays over our entwined bodies. We were still in the same positions we were in last night, only now the sun was shining instead of the moon.

I listened to the soft breaths that tickled my head and I tilt to the side, careful not to wake her and look up at the sleeping girl with her arms wrapped around me. Her breath fans over my face when I tilt my head to the side and I couldn’t help but smile as her peaceful state. She looked so beautiful and flawless, despite her makeup being a little smudged under her eyes. Looking at her now, I couldn’t really understand why she said what she did last night, surely she never meant it when she said ‘Nor do I’. She had gone out of her way, at a party as well, to ensure that I was taken care of, why would she not deserve help, when she’s the most helpful around?

Maybe it had something to do with what happened the other night, why she was crying. Maybe she was hurting just like me; maybe she had a bad past. I’d heard whispers between my parents about her, about her family and how they’d suffered a lot of the past year, especially Katherine, but I’d never given it any real thought. It wasn’t fair for me to dig into her life; I wouldn’t like her digging in to mine. So, I left it at that and relaxed inside her tranquil state. I hadn’t felt this relaxed in a long time, but something felt right with the green eyed girl I was taking comfort in, she felt right. It was the way our hands fit together like a puzzle piece, the way we knew what comfort each other needed without the words, and the way my face lit up when she gradually opened her eyes and they bore into mine. But this was wrong, it was all wrong.

“Hey,” she breathes, her voice raspy but light in the morning.

“Hey,” I return with a smile.

She arches her eyebrow and a frown appears on her face. “How are you feeling?” The concern was evident in her tone and I sigh heavily against her chest. Something told me that if I lie and say I was fine, she wouldn’t believe me.

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly, looking away and turning my head to face the wall.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I did want to talk about it, but something about her made me bite my tongue, in fear that she would hate me, and I didn’t want her to hate. From getting no response from me, she combs her fingers gently through my hair. The action somehow soothes me and I close my eyes at the touch. “You know, I can see you’re hurting about something. I wouldn’t say it’s obvious, I only know from experience, so I know that if you’re anything like me, youll never talk about it. But just know that, there’s at least one person that knows what you’re going through, may be not exactly what you’re going through, but they know the pain.” She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “I know you’ve lost someone,”

I look up at her then. How could she possibly know that? “H-h-how?” I stutter.

“I know that look, that grief,” She bites her lip and diverts her attention to the window to her left. A single tear escapes her eye and makes a trail down her cheek. “I lost someone, too.”

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Instead, I unravel her arms from around me and jump off the bed, holding out my hand. She gives me a confused look and I just smile at her. “Come on, let’s go get some breakfast. I’m really hungry.” Seeing her resistance, I kneel back on the bed and take her hand in mine. I wipe away the tear with the thumb of my other hand and lift her chin up to face me. “I don’t like seeing you cry. I want to see that smile of yours, so I’m taking you for breakfast. Plus, your stomach’s rumbling like hell.”

She looks down and rubs her stomach and groans at the noise it was making. She looks back up at me and smiles. “Pancakes?”

I chuckle at her question, and nod my head. “Pancakes,” I stand up again and this time, when I hold out my hand, she takes it without hesitation and follows me out of the room.