Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 7 (My First...)

I did not know how long I stood there hugging him but for the first time after everything happened, I didn't feel so lifeless anymore. I felt safe. I felt like it was finally gonna be okay. And I don't know why it made me feel that way when I hugged Omar but it finally made me relax. I let go of him and took a step back wiping my tears. It started to rain out of nowhere and we both went inside the house. We sat down next to each other in the living room, in awkward silence.

"Listen I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me..."

"It's alright I understand," but that's the thing. No one understands; they have not been through this like me. I'm here all alone.

All I could do was nod. He then placed his hand on top of mine and I didn't push it away. I kept it there, just holding his hand. I felt so vulnerable. I needed someone to just be there; not to listen not to talk but just be there even in silence. And Omar was. He hadn't said a word to me, almost as if he knew that I wanted silence.

"I cant believe she's gone just like that. Who do I have now?"

"You're not alone. You have your dad, your relatives, me"

"Oh Please. Who do you call relatives? Those pathetic people who came to the funeral hugging me and telling me that it was all gonna be ok when it clearly wasn't. Like they understand what I'm going through. Nobody understands. No one."

"My mom died when I was 12. I was an only son and she loved me very much. One day I found her in her bed, lying still. She wasn't breathing when I found her. Just a tear that had run across her cheek. A year later my dad remarried again. It was like he didn't even remember her anymore. He married her for his own selfish reasons and told me it was to look after me. My step-mother calls me a mistake. She says my mother died because she couldn't bear to have a son like me. She hit me and starved me when my dad was away. I finally couldn't take anymore of it and I ran away from there. I'm staying with my mother's parents. Maybe I was not old enough to remember my mother clearly but I do remember her. And she loved me very much. I know she's looking down at me and smiling, whenever I smile. She will always be a part of me and as time goes on it will be alright. So I don't know about others but I do understand."

Once Omar had finished I was speechless. Even he lost his mom but he had it worse than I did. He actually found his mom dead and his step mother tortured him telling him that it was his fault. Yet here he is, standing strong and smiling, like his mother would have wanted him to.

"You remind me of her. My mother. You resemble her is some ways. That's why I wanted to talk to you. To get to know you. When I found out that your mom passed away, I just wanted to be there for you. I wanted to hug you and let you know that it was gonna be okay. But we really didn't get to talk at the funeral home with everything going on so I asked Zain where you lived and just wanted to make sure you were okay."

We both stated at each other's eyes and then I realized why I had hugged Omar the moment I saw him at my door. Because I actually liked Omar Khan. I liked Omar. Without thinking I leaned in closer and before I knew it my lips were against his. When I realized what I was doing, I was about to back away when he kissed me back, just as passionately. With everything going on, I knew this was wrong but it felt so right. There I was on the day of my mother's funeral, getting my first kiss.

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