Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 46 (Our Baby)

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"She may be lying Amina! We don't know for sure."

I nodded, looking forward. The rest of the car ride was silent. My brain somehow stopped processing with all the information Victoria gave us. My mother was killed because of me? It was my fault! She died so I can get hurt. What wrong did she do? She was my angel! What kind of people were they? My heart hurt knowing that it was all because of me. What hurt the most was that I still didn't know why. I didn't know why they wanted to hurt me; I didn't even know who they were.

Believing Victoria's every word seemed like the most plausible thing to do considering how messed up my life was. I started tearing up, but looked out the window to hide my face from Ali. My life was all a game; like how a child would dress up a barbie doll and decide her every move. That was me. I was the helpless barbie doll whose life was toyed with. How did I even get into this mess? Who do I trust?

"It'll be OK babe." Ali held my hand and squeezed it. That single form of comfort made me feel better; but for how long? How long more until something else comes along and takes a turn for the worse?

We stopped in front of our apartment. Ali was quick to the door and opened it for me. I nodded and walked past him upstairs. Opening the door, I removed my hijab and abaya and went to the kitchen to drink some water.

Moments later, Ali walked in with bags in his hand. "Where do I keep them?"

"In the baby room." He left to place the bags and I sat in the living room, feeling numb. I felt the seat next to me sink in and I rested my head on his shoulders.

We stayed like that for what seemed like forever. Slowly, my breathing became silent sobs. Tears fell out, drop by drop. Silent sobs turned into whimpers and before I knew it, I was clutching onto Ali's shirt crying uncontrollably.

"I promise I'll make it all OK babe. Please," he begged. I didn't know why; I didn't know how; all I knew was that Ali would make it all OK. He would and I trust him to.

He placed his hands around my baby bump and I snuggled in closer, inhaling his smell. With a quick movement, Ali retreated his hands from my stomach and I jumped up at the same time. We both looked at each other, our smiles reaching our ears.

He placed his hands back on my stomach and I placed mine on top of his, awaiting another movement; another kick. As I felt it inside me, I hardly knew tears were coming out. I looked at Ali, his eyes holding the same as mine. "Our baby," I whispered.

"Our baby!" He kissed the top of my forehead and we laid there, feeling each kick. Although it was slightly painful, it didn't even make up for how happy we felt. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep and only remember Ali carrying me to bed.

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"Baby?!" I shuffled in bed, feeling an empty space next to me, where Ali laid. I sat up, seeing the door slightly open. Getting out of bed, I walked in the living room and saw Ali putting on his shoes and taking the car keys. "Where are you going?"

He jumped surprised at my presence but quickly composed himself. Walking closer to me, he bent down and kissed my baby bump, then my lips. "I have... some things to do," he said dragging each word. He fumbled with his keys and that's when I knew he was up to something.

"Okay, what things?"

"Just some things I need to take care of."

"I'm coming with you." I walked over to the couch and grabbed the abaya that I placed there and started wearing it.

"No. You can't!" He tried to stop me, but I was already half dressed.

"And why not Ali?"

"It's not safe love."

"And it is for you!? If you're off to play detective, then I'm coming to play sidekick." He sighed running his hand over his hair. "Where are you going anyways?" I started wrapping my scarf around my head. It seemed to be a hard task without a mirror, but I knew if I left the room, Ali wouldn't be here by the time I got back.

"To the so-called doctor's office. Where did you find that anyways?"

"It was the first address I found online. And I'm coming with you. End of discussion."

"Amina, I don't know what to expect. I don't know how I will handle the situation. I don't know how things will go. I can't risk having you there if things take a turn for the worse."

"Well you're gonna need someone to stop you from killing right?" Snatching the car keys from his hand, I walked out the door. Moments later, I saw his shadow following me.

Standing outside the car, Ali took the car keys, shaking his head at me. "You are one stubborn woman. You're so..."

"Loving? Beautiful? Cute? Smart? Right? Sexy?" I asked batting my eyelashes, then winking.

"So impossible," he said huffing.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Sure it does. Now if you keep quiet, I'll buy you chocolates." As rude as his offer was, it was something I could never say no to. So, I complied and stayed quiet the rest of the car ride with Ali constantly trying to make me talk.

Once we arrived at the doctor's office, I held Ali's hand, afraid that his anger would take over. He looked at me, assuring me that he's OK. We walked in and opened the door.

I gasped taking a step behind. Ali walked in looking around the room. The same room which once held chairs for pregnant ladies to sit and a receptionist desk; the same room inside where I had my first baby scan and where I stood with Ali, arguing about my so-called cancer, was now empty. It was completely empty.

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