Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 39 (Not Mine)

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I ignored him and the lump in my throat as I placed my handbag on my shoulder. I kept my head up and walked past him. I certainly didn't have anything to be ashamed of. There was so much tension in the waiting room. Maya and Zain kept quiet. They very much knew that this was my battle. And I prayed to Allah that I will be able to fight for myself; I prayed that this would not become a suicide mission.

"Ami," Ali said, holding my hand. Memories flashed in my head as I remembered all the times he would call me 'Ami'; and all the times he held my hand. The difference between now and then, was that now he had no right. I was no longer his Ami and he was no longer my Ali; he was no longer mine.

"Let me go," I said with my teeth clenched. The mere thought of him touching me disgusted every fibre of my body.

He pulled my hand gently and made me turn to face him. His eyes pierced through me and I could feel him burning a hole. "Tell me why you are here and I will." I looked at Maya and Zain, who seemed to have back off. Now was not the time to give me space, you dumb people called friends, I mentally cursed. His hands still held mine and all I wanted to do was run; away from him and the rest of the world.

"You don't have the right to know," I yelled back. My voice came out louder than intended and we got a few stares from other pregnant mothers. I looked back at the counter and saw Lauren, pleading us to take our drama outside. I broke free from his grip and marched outside. I could hear footsteps following behind me and I didn't have to turn around to know who.

"Amina!" he yelled as I opened the door to Zain's car. He pulled me by my hand once again, but this time it was much rougher. I was sure that part of my hand would have left a mark behind. I hissed in pain but he didn't seem to notice. His eyes were clouded with fury and I knew this part of Ali all too well. This was the Ali who had promised to make my life a living hell when he found out about Omar. This was the Ali who hurt me and was happy at each pain I felt. This was not my Ali. That's for sure.

A hand reached out to Ali's, pulling it away from me. I traced the hand back to its owner and saw Zain, standing beside Ali. Stupid Zain. The feeling of Ali's hand not on mine felt incomplete. No matter how much I hated him, I could never bury my love. I loved him and I will continue to love him forever; and forever doesn't end when the other person cheated on you.

"You have the right to talk to her. You have the right to touch her. But you don't have the right to hurt her; especially in this state," Zain said firmly. Ali looked at him and shook his hand off, like he was a germ to touch. Immature boys.

"She is my wife. You are the one who has no right over her, for anything," Ali fired back. Zain's body stiffened and Maya pulled the hem of his shirt back. He didn't move; his eyes locked on Ali's. It was like a staring contest on who would blink first and I was growing impatient by the minute.

"Enough," I said with a sigh. Both locked their gazes on me, "it's okay Zain. I'm OK." I didn't understand why, but it seemed like I was telling everyone that I was OK, when in reality, I was trying to convince myself to be OK. He looked at me one more time apologetically before standing next to Maya. He was far enough to give us privacy but close enough to come to me in a matter of seconds.

"Tell me right now Amina. Stop all this nonsense. Why are you here?" He was fuming with anger and I knew I had nowhere else to run or to create excuses. It was time for the truth; no matter how much I dreaded having to tell him this.