Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 40 (Chance)

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The sight of the house brought back so many memories. It felt like I've been gone forever, but in reality, all it was was 2 months. But truth be told, I missed the comforts of home. But was this my home? Or was it just a house? I wasn't so sure anymore. Ali took my bag off my hands. It wasn't heavy at all, but he seemed to be extra careful ever since he found out about my pregnancy. He drove slow and steady. Makes me wonder, if I wasn't pregnant, he would drive recklessly and never carry my bag? I couldn't remember those sweet memories anymore. It was all clouded by a dark mist of hatred and betrayal.

The drive between the clinic was not far, but it wasn't near either. Ali opened his mouth to speak every time we stopped at a red light. When I looked at him, he fell silent. This would repeat again and again every time we stopped. I missed him holding my hand and kissing it when he was driving. I missed the feeling that passed over me when he does. I missed all his dirty little jokes and smirks when we are talking. I missed him a lot. But was that enough to start fresh? I followed him back home for one reason and one reason only- for some answers.

Ali cleared his throat and I escaped from my thoughts. I looked at him lifelessly and dull. I could tell it was breaking him apart, but did he know how much it broke me? He pulled out a seat in dining table and gestured me to sit. I obeyed him. I knew there was more fighting to do later on, so I guess I was just saving my energy.

He cleared his throat shifting in his seat while I played with my hands. I felt suffocated and removed my hijab, placing it in the dining table. Just because people don't admit that wearing hijab is suffocating, doesn't mean that you never get suffocated. Sometimes it can be too much. "Amina," he started, "please just listen through it OK? I will be honest with you but I'm not sure if you will trust me now."

I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. I promised myself- the part that will always love him- that I will give him a chance; a chance to explain. Being patient was my only option to keeping that promise. "I really did have a meeting and I needed to leave the country after that," he hesitated before continuing, "the meeting got cancelled and the last few days had been really stressing so Sienna offered to have drinks before the flight."

"Wasn't cheating bad enough now that you also admit to drinking?" He looked at me, joining his eyebrows in confusion.

"I didn't drink alcohol Ami. How could you even think of me like that?" I looked down unable to meet his gaze. "We went to the drinks bar and I had a cranberry juice. I had a call saying the meeting was not cancelled and the clients were waiting for me in the hotel room. So, Sienna and I went over there. All the while, my head started spinning and I knew I wasn't steady anymore. I held onto Sienna for support-"

"Please stop Ali. I don't want to hear what happened after that," I said, on the verge of tears.

"Ami, please just listen. Please!" he begged, "Sienna helped me inside the room and I swear on our unborn child I don't know what happened next." Tears rolled down my eyes and I abruptly got up and ran upstairs. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know the difference between a lie and the truth anymore. I was easy to fool; anyone can make me believe anything; a lie or a truth. Because I was stupid; that's what I was. A toy to play with; my feelings and I.

Ali chased behind me. I felt the walls closing in as loud sobs left my lips. I ran up to Ali's chest and held him for what seemed like forever. "Ssshhh," he said, silencing me while caressing my hair.

"I- Wha-" I held him closer and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt complete, "I don't know what to believe and what no- not to believe Ali. Wha- what am I supposed to do? I can't take this anymore. What am I supposed to believe?" I sobbed into his shirt, dampening the spot.

"Me, Ami. Please believe me. I wouldn't swear on our child if I had been lying," he stepped back and cupped my face, "I swear I don't remember. It was all a haze to me. I thought I was with you and at times I realised that it wasn't you but... I kept hallucinating and I didn't know what was real or not. I think someone spiked my drink," he admitted.

"Spiked?" I looked up to him in confusion.

"Spiked! As in someone mixed some sort of drug in it. I would never even think about betraying you. I made a promise to you and I will never break it Ami. Please. Do you believe me?"

"But who would've done such a thing?" I asked him.

With a sigh, "Who else? Omar!" he said coldly.

I couldn't help but snort. "Why do you keep blaming everything on him? I think it's time for you to take responsibility for your action Ali. I believe you. I believe that someone spiked your drink. I believe that..." it hurt me to say the next few words, but I continued, "that you thought it was me. But Omar would never do such a thing," I said, even though I was uncertain myself, "it could have been someone else."

He shook his head at me, "It is him Ami. I know it for sure an-"

"What proof do you have that it's him?" I interrupted. He looked down and kept silent. "Exactly. You don't know for sure if it's him or not."

"But I do Ami," he said again, this time much firmly.

"How?"

"Sienna quit the job," he said. At the mention of her name, my insides felt like a storm passing through, "Omar was the one who interviewed her for my personal assistant post. Why would she leave so suddenly? I think it was a plan from the start Ami. I don't have any solid proof but please believe me. A chance- that's all I'm asking. To prove my love for you and my loyalty. Please," he begged again. He took my hand in his and kissed it.

I sighed at pulled back, "Okay," I agreed, "you have one chance to prove it to me. But," he stopped walking closer and stood ground, "but, if you cannot prove of this theory, I am out of your life for good. With me goes our baby as well."

"I only need a chance. With it, I'll forever hold you close to me Ami," he said enveloping me in a hug. I inhaled him smell and the familiarity of the situation and the surroundings. Allah knows best what should and shouldn't happen. If this was my way to leave Ali, then so be it. But if this was my way to know the real side of Omar, then I will accept it.

"I missed you Ali!" I felt him smile even though I couldn't see him. He hugged me tighter and I held him close, for this may be the last time I ever hugged him and I was not ready to let go.

Helloooo lovelies. Can you feel it all coming to an end? 10 chapters more or even less 😫 I am gonna miss you guys. I am working on a new Islamic project and In Shaa Allah, that will start as soon as this ends. But... Do you want an epilogue or sequel? Include in your comments.

So do you think that Ali's theory is correct?

Do you think Omar is behind this?

What are your guesses?

* I love all your theories and keep them in consideration for the next chapter. But please please be nice. I do not appreciate rude comments. And I don't think I will be able to handle such a mess. So please be nice. I love all my readers.

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