Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 30 (Chocolates and Ice Cream?)

I honestly dont know what I'm doing. On one side there is this whole dilemma with Omar who's trying to be a villain in my life. And then there's this amazing guy who loves me. And then there is my best friend who is forever friend zoned. How did I get into this mess?

Amongst all these problem, the one that got me hanging my head down from my bed laying my body their is Ali and his confession to me. Do I love Ali? I really like him. He was like a breath of fresh air after Omar. He was honest and kind and loving. I almost feel as if I dont deserve his love. He deserves someone who can love him passionately and truly.

Why can't you love him passionately and truly?

Because I dont think I'm capable of loving him.

And what makes someone capable of loving someone?

I.. I dont know but Ali deserves better.

Amina listen to yourself, in this situation, listen to me because I am us duh, okay im gonna shut up and concentrate. As I was saying, Omar was a mistake. You didnt know the difference between love and affection. With Omar, you simply liked him...

Exactly!!! I liked him. How can I like Ali's own brother and then love Ali? That just makes me feel sick.

Pfft, did you really like Omar? Or did you like Omar's lies?

That's true. Ugh why do you have to be so right?

Because I'm always right.

Yeah but that doesn't explain what I have to do about Ali. Do I love him?

Why do you keep asking the same question over and over again when you clearly know the answer to it? The answer is in your question itself. Close your eyes and what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

Chocolates and Ice Cream?

Okay, the next thing apart from food that comes into your mind.

I clear my head and think again. This time images of Ali pop into my head. He was teaching me how to drive. Honestly it was a scary experience because I was afraid I would lose control. But he was there with me. Every time I pressed the accelerator too much, he would hold my hand and I'd release it. I remember how every time even after the countless amount he touched me, his every touch gives me butterflies. It was as if they built a nest inside me. I open my eyes and realised I was smiling.

The answer lies in your question.

Do I love him? I do love him!

I jolt up from my bed anxiously waiting Ali to return home. It was suppose to be a family dinner time but me and Ali got stuck at home. Everyone went to the restaurant earlier but just as me and Ali were about to step outside, dark clouds filled the sky. From no where it started pouring everywhere. It was thundering and lightening so much, I was too afraid to step outside. So we decided to stay in. Right now Ali went to buy us some Chinese. He just left a while back, which would give me enough time to come up with something to confess to him.

But what can I do?

"Got it" I say with a snap of my finger. I immediately turn on my laptop and google 'How to confess your love?' God! I sound so pathetic.

Sing a song- No I wanna confess my love, not make his deaf.

Plane Ticket? He's right here stupid google.

Stuffed Animal- He's not a girl.

Phone Call or Text Message- Not romantic at all.