Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 15 (What a gorgeous Bride!)

I get up the next morning, followed by my daily routine. I was not in the mood to miss my breakfast again. My sister was already cooking Chocolate Pancakes. My mind automatically went back to the time when Omar made these for me. How can one person be so kind at one point and turn into something so horrible?

I always thought that my prince charming would come and sweep me off my feet. When I was falling in love, i thought he would catch me before I even fell. But it turn out that my prince charming was the one who pushed me in the first place. How can he break my heart like that? How can anyone do anything like that to another person? Was anything he told me ever true, like about his mother and all? Or was he saying those things to get close to me by sympathizing. Only Allah knows.

"So what happened?" My sister questioned me curiously.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Can you please drop the topic?" I questioned back.

"Amina, what ever happened..." She sighed "you know you can always talk to me. Surely if Allah can forgive you for whatever you've done, then so can I."

"I saw him kissing another girl okay? Are you happy now? Now that I'm hurting inside, you must be filled with joy." As much as I regretted the words that left my mouth, I knew it was the hurt and anger inside me talking, and something told me that even my sister knew.

She touched my cheeks wiping away the tears I didn't even realize I had.

"Listen Ami, I know I may have come off a little rough, and I apologize but no man is worth your tears" she said genuinely concerned.

"I know Datha, its okay. It's over now. I cant believe I did those things, I am really ashamed of myself. I just thought for once that he really liked me for me. He was there for me through it all. I really trusted him. But its useless talking about it now. Everything's over."

My sister placed breakfast in front of me and took a seat next to me. She put her hand on mine sighing "Amina, talking about your feelings isn't useless. I know you thought that that boy, what was his name again?"

"Omar"

"Yeah, Omar. I know you thought that Omar was the one for you. But open your eyes and see the real world. He is not the one who's gonna sweep you off your feet and you live happily ever after. This is real life Ami. Nobody gets what they want. I know you are praying and wear hijab and all. But your Iman (faith) is weak. Turn to Allah not only in time of need but also in times of happiness. Pray and ask Duas (prayers). Allah is All-Knowing and surely he will answer your duas."

"Oh please. What's the use of praying and asking duas? I have been asking praying and duas since the age of 11. I prayed for mom's health and long life but what happened now? Let's just face it Datha, there is no God. If there was what does he get by making me suffer? He just watched everything yet here I am, motherless and heartbroken. What did I do to deserve this? Is wanting to be happy a crime? We have been fed bullshit since we were little and its time to open your eyes and see the real truth." After pouring my heart out I felt guilty. How can I say that there is no God? Ya Allah please forgive me, but even He knows that that is how I feel right now. I can lie to myself but I surely cant lie to Him.

"AMINA!!! That's enough! I have been sitting here listening to you, trying to help you overcome this but how dare you? Why are you so selfish as if you're the only one who lost a mother? How can you be so self centered? Can you not think of Imran and me? Did we not lose our mother too? Did dad not lose his wife? My children are not with me because I chose to be with you in your time of need. But what have you done to appreciate it? You complain on and on. You can complain about Allah's creation and I will tolerate and forgive you, but don't you dare complain about our Creation." There was a long pause before she continued again. "Eat your breakfast, you're going to be late for school...." She sighed and got up to wash her plate.