Growing (An Islamic Life) *COMPLETED*

Chapter 38 (Drama & Secrets)

"Well in that case, get ready to blow off your steam," she said turning my body around to face Ali.

He nervously stood there among the crowd, dressed in his usual business attire. I wanted to run to his arms and hug him and never let go- how badly I wanted to do that. But reality clicked in as I remembered everything he did. He walks towards me and I take a step back. A pair of hands hold me in place from stumbling and I turn around to look at Zain.

I give him a small smile and pull Maya's hands walking inside the school. I heard my name faintly but I didn't know if it was Zain or him. "Are you okay," Maya asked me as we both walk to our allocated seats. I nodded and put on a brave face. He won't ruin today for me.

I kept my undivided attention on the valedictorian as he gave a long speech. I didn't want to turn around, as I was afraid I might come in contact with his eyes. Soon after everyone threw their hats in their air and became the official alumni of 2014, all my friends gathered around me.

"I'm going to miss you guys," Maya cried while hugging each and everyone. Zain backed off before she could hug him.

"Muslims. Remember?" he asked her. She broke out crying and came and hugged me.

"Aminaaa! I'm going to miss you so much. Promise me you will meet up with me. I want to be forever the aunt of your child."

"Child?" all three boys questioned at the same time. I blushed and nodded while looking down.

"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Andrew as he came with his hands open. Zain stood in front of him, blocking his way and looked at me. I nodded and gave him a smile, thanking him. The Amina before probably would have hugged each and everyone of them. But things have changed; I have changed. I have learned that, 'If one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.'

I was not only a follower of my faith now. I was a leader; a leader for my child. In Shaa Allah, I will be her role model and she will look up to me and I can only pray that I will be by her side.

A tap on my shoulder made me turn around and I looked at Ali. A pang of hurt rushed inside me as I looked at anything but him. I turned to leave but he caught me by my hand. Soon, Andrew, Ben and Zain surrounded us.

"Congrats man," Andrew said, throwing his hands around Ali. My heart started beating faster and I silently prayed to Allah, that Ali should never find out. Ali looked at him and I wore my graduation cap. His eyebrows relaxed thinking it was Andrew congratulating him for the graduation. I sighed in relief. I just wanted to leave and lock myself in complete darkness; exactly the way I felt inside.

"Guys, I have to go" I said, turning around to face them.

"What? No treat?" asked Ben. Oh Ben, please shut up. I looked at Maya, who looked much calmer compared to the crying mess she was moments earlier. I silently pleaded with my eyes. She knew that Ali didn't know. And I forever wanted it to be that way. I never want him to know that I am carrying his child. I felt disgusted knowing that a part of him was inside me, but every time, I consoled myself saying it was only my child and will never be his.

"Okay Amina, let's go," Maya said pulling me away from the boys. Ali looked at me and he didn't know how to react. He wanted to talk to me but I knew he would never in front of my friends.

"Where are you going?" asked Zain as I was about to leave with Maya dragging me. I stopped and Maya pulled my hand. I gave her a nod and turned to Zain.

"I'll start the car," she said, letting go and walked away. Ali was behind Zain, talking to Ben and Andrew but I knew his concentration was on me; on us.