Kiss Me

Chapter Seventeen

Sorry I havent updated in forever but finals have been a pain. Hopefully now i can update more.

Also:
Warning! Some self hate/suicidal thoughts are gonna happen at the end and might be triggering. No physical abuse but verbal abuse and if this hurts you please just skip to next chapter. Will be warning when it starts...

Hazel, Frank, Will, and me head to the pavilion for dinner. (The last one for me and Will thank the gods.) Will and me have our hands interwoven him smiling at me and me trying not to smile back.

Entering the dinner we are the last ones to be there so many look over at us glaring or with disgusted looks. I shrug it off and lead us to a table in the back corner with 3 huddled campers. Taking our seats at the end of our table dinner appears in front of us and we eat.

"Are you sure you have to leave tonight?" Hazel asks yet again.

"Yes we do. I can't stand being here anymore." I tell her looking around meeting people's glares and staring them down.

"Plus I can't wait to tell everyone Nico finally came out of his shell...for me." Will says with a cheeky grin as I groan.

"Actually I might be having second thoughts." I say as he punches me in the shoulder.

"Just know that we will always welcome you back...well me and Hazel will." Frank says eating a piece of chocolate cake.

"Thanks. I can't wait to get back to camp so I can have some quiet." I say.

"Umm excuse me?" A timid voice is heard coming from the other side of the table.

A girl and boy each about 12 and 13 look at us with brown eyes and black hair with a silver streak going through it. Their eyes are wide with fear the girl fidgeting in her seat not liking all the eyes on her.

"Yes?" Frank says.

"Umm...we were...uh...wondering if we could...um like...come with you to the other camp?" The boy says stuttering through the whole sentence.

"Why? Don't you like it here?" Hazel says confusion written on her face.

"We would just...just rather go to a camp that accepts us." The girl says taking a deep breath after.

"What do you mean accepts you?" I ask not liking the idea of two kids coming with us where monsters are everywhere.

"We mean we are have half Roman & have Greek. Our godly parent was the Roman god Apollo but our mom was Greek." The girls says getting confident with her speech.

"So what do you want us to do?" Will says.

"Uh...we w-want to... go to umm.. Camp Half Blood du-during the summer and...th-then return here for the rest of the...uh year." The boy says again stuttering more than the last time.

"Sure." Will says as I grab his arm with wide eyes, he turns looking at me.

"Will! We cant just let two kids come with us. They'd get us killed plus remember the crown? What if they try to take it from us?" I say looking at them suspiciously.

"Nico they're just kids we cant leave them in a camp that hates them." Will says giving me an exasperated look.

"How are we going to support all of us while we're out there?" I say raising a brow at him.

"We just bring extra of everything." He says calmly.

"Monsters will come flocking after us in hoardes smelling us." I say trying to make him see how risky this is.

"We keep moving never settling in one place for more than a few hours." He replies quickly.

"I doubt Reyna will just let us waltz out of here with two of her campers claiming to be bullied by her campers." I say getting slightly annoyed by Wills stubbornness.

"Then we will sneak them out. We cant leave them here. What if Percy had left you and Bianca when that scorpion guy tried to get you guys?" He says poking my chest angry.

Having had enough I say standing up, "Fine but if they get caught we are not turning back to help them. You heard me?" I say turning around to the kids where they nod shaking.

After that I walk out of the dining area frustrated my hands in fists holding in the anger toward those siblings.

"Nico!" I hear a voice yell but I keep walking towards the cabins.

"Nico? Whats wrong? Is it because i mentioned Bianca?" Will says running up next to me with a worried expression.

"No it's not that." I say with a monotone voice refusing to look at him.

"Nico, talk to me." He says reaching for my hand but I move it his hurt reaction obvious.

"Fine. I'll meet you later but we're taking those kids with us." He says a hint of anger in his voice.

I stop walking and turn to him, "Get them ready then we leave at first light."

When I finish I turn and walk towards my cabin leaving Will behind.

Warning! Warning!

Will doesn't follow me just turns around to walk back to where the rest are waiting for him outside the dining area.

I shake my head as I walk into the cabin closing the door with a loud slam. I start to walk around the cabin trying to let my anger out.

"What if Percy had left you and Bianca when that scorpion guy tried to get you guys?" That question keeps repeating in my head.

'I wouldn't be here.' Is the answer to that question.

'I would be dead with Bianca and that's better than living this shitty life. I should have died not Bianca. She deserved to live not me. All I do is make stupid mistakes I just ruin everyones life. I would make everyones life easier if I would have died. No one would miss me anyway. I just want to be dead. Why can't I be dead?!' I fall to my knees my hands on the floor as I keep in a scream that will wake the dead.

My hands turn to fists as I stare at the wooden floor boards trying to control my breathing. I feel the ground shaking or is that just me shaking? I don't feel anything. I can't feel anything. I see myself fall to the side but dont feel it. I'm now looking at the ceiling and start to shake.

Not only does the shaking increase but the dark thoughts that I had hid for many years haunt me once more.

Pathetic.

Waste.

Faggot.

Worthless.

Stupid.

Freak.

Disgusting.

Failure.

Who would love you?
Why do you think people leave you?
Everyone dies around you.
You will never be happy.

The one that has tortured me more than the rest returns once more with vengeance and rage.

Bianca never loved you.

That lone thought shatters me and I scream.

I hate writing things like this because it happens in real life. I dont want anyone to go through this so I'm here if anyone needs it.