The Social Gods | On Hold

8

I wake up with my legs wrapped around Shawn and his arms wrapped around me. I try to pull his arms from around me but he has a good grip on me. I groan, loudly.

"Shawn" I shake his shoulder "Wake up."

He grunts and pulls me in more.

I have to pee and brush my hair and I probably smell.

"Shawn. No, get up." I shake his shoulder again.

"No. Just stay a little longer." his voice is muffled yet I can still hear the raspiness.

"Shawn I have to get up and go back to my house." He groans this time but loosens his grip. "Thank you." I say as I untangle myself from him.

I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me.

"Nicole?" Shawn calls.

I quickly pee, flush, and wash my hands. I find an extra toothbrush in his drawer, it's the one I left here forever ago. So I brush my teeth and even use mouthwash. When I open the door Shawn is standing there about to knock. When he sees me he drops his hand.

"Yeah?" I say walking past him. I really need to wash my hair when I get home. I bet it's a tangled mess.

"When you said you loved me did you mean as a friend?" His voice is small, vulnerable.

I want to tell him I love him more than a friend. I want to tell him that I never want to leave this room or his bed. For some reason I can't bring myself to say it though.

"Can we talk about this later?" I say as I head into the closet. I pull off Shawn's boxers and let them pool around my feet. I grab my overalls and pull them up. I can feel Shawn's presence behind me. "Do you mind if I take your shirt" I laugh "even if you do I'm taking it." I buckle the clips before I turn around. He's leaning against the door frame. His face is blank. I walk over to him and look up at him. His eyes are gazing into mine and I want to lean up and kiss him.

"You don't love me the way I love you, do you?" he says placing a hand on my lower back pulling me into him.

"That's not what I said." I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him.

"Nicole please. I need to know how you feel because I really want you to be mine and I really want to be yours." He kisses my temple and it's the most endearing thing I'm sure has ever happen to me.

But I'm scared. If I date Shawn there is no going back. There will no longer be a friendship between us. If we break up or get into a fight it will not only be a fight between us but also our friends. If we break up that could ruin everything that is keeping me together right now.

"I want you, I really do. But the risks are so high, what if things go wrong. What if everything falls apart? I can't lose you." He plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Nicole-" I cut him off. "I have to go Shawn." I pull away and try to walk past him.

"What? No. You can't say things like that and then leave." He is holding on to my forearm keeping me from leaving. "Shawn let me go" He just shakes his head no and moves his hand down my arm to my hand.

"If this is it. The end to any chance of us being together you have to say goodbye the right way." I furrow my brows. The right way?

Without another word he pulls me to his chest. He places one hand on my cheek and pulls my face to his. He gives me a small kiss. But the kiss quickly grows. He pushes me against the closet door with out lips still attached. His fingers run down to my thighs and his lifts me up. My arms wrap around his neck. A low moan escapes his lips and that sets me off. With one hand around his neck I use my other hand to travel down his chest to the top of his sweat pants. I manage to push them down and he steps out of them. He pulls his lips from mine.