When Hermione Fights

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Chapter beta: Olivia

Chapter translator: Aivy

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Hermione's POV

I ran as if all the demons of hell were after me. When I left the threshold of the pub behind me, I sprinted and ran and ran, apparated in the run, pulled out my wand, opened the entrance and locked it routinely, but didn't stop and rushed on. I ran blindly on and on and only stopped at the end of the passageway. Who said daily laps weren't helpful?

I finally collapsed where I stood, sank exhausted down to my knees and, beaten, I remained kneeling on the dirty, trampled clay floor, slapped my hands with a suppressed sob in front of my face and groaned in pain, because everything hurt. He battered made me terribly. My insides felt torn and sore. As I had sunken to the floor pain had shot over my spine into my brain. He had done a great job, I was a single wound, and not only physically. Mentally, too, I was struggling to find myself.

Because I wasn't nearly as tough as I pretended to be!

My body felt like nothing more than a shell. How could I have remained so uninvolved and kept my cool while he was near me? How did everything get so much out of hand? I had come to know a side of me that I didn't know I had. But it was good to know about it, I thought joylessly, pragmatically and a slightly hysterical giggle escaped my lips.

One thing was now certain for me: I was insane! I had requested a second time! Now I had it in black and white that I was mad as a hatter. The second thing was my pride, my stupid pride that had made me do it. I wanted to show him that nothing he had done to me meant anything to me! I was such a liar, but as it seemed a gifted actress, too! Or, a terrifying thought came into my stunned, confused mind: Was it no act and I was actually deranged?

That was probably more like it because the second time had been good, really! I didn't have to pretend anything to him. At the time, my insides had been torn with pain and lust; I had been trapped in my very own, incomprehensible world. I had enjoyed having power over him, forcing my will on him despite everything. So, in fact, I had enjoyed the way he did me the second time around and I knew without professional help that that was sick, very sick!

But knowing that he now knew that I, Hermione, his student, lay beneath him, so exposed to him, and also that I was doing it with my professor, Severus Snape, with my eyes wide open took some getting used to.

How could I still look into his face after this night? Knowing that he knew I had played the whore for him? And Draco - I sobbed dryly and looked lost, despairing into the deep darkness of the corridor, for I hadn't made a light for myself.

Why had I behaved like that? That worried me a lot. I had felt as if my fast-pounding heart had to leap out of my chest, but I hadn't been able to let him win. It was like we were having a contest about who could shock the other more, in one way or another; I with my emotional coldness, he with his barbaric brutality. I knew he could punish!

I remembered the kiss on the mat during our first fight. However, this punishment that he had given me this time, this physical punishment ... If I had thought the kiss had been punitive, then I could now say in good conscience, he had taught me better. That he shouldn't get his hands on you when he fucked to punish, I knew now. It was no pleasure, not in the slightest... It was all humiliating, degrading and hurtful, almost devastating.

When those dark black eyes had glared at me so abysmally angrily, it had been hard for me to breathe. His irises had changed to the colour of the pupils, making them look huge. So seething with rage I had never really experienced him, never! I had known that if he could, he would blow my lights out, and so I had kept quiet under that blazing look. Even when he had beaten me hard, I hadn't moved and let him let work off his rage on my body and oh, he had done that without inhibitions! Ruthlessly and mercilessly.