Breakdown || Linkin Park

Chapter 10

Mike:

"I can't let you develop deeper feelings for me and possibly fall in love with me. I'm no good for you. You deserve better." She looked up and tears ran down her cheeks.

I took one hand off her, put it on her cheek and wiped away some tears with my thumb.

"You're not a bad person, Lin. I'm so attracted to you. My heart beats faster near you." I said.

"I love you."

She pinched her eyes together and shook her head so hard that her hair flew to all sides.

"No! Don't love me! I'm not good enough for you! I'm a fucking mess!"

She began to tremble and cried even harder.

I tenderly grasped her face with both hands.

"Look at me." I said gently.

Slowly and hesitantly she opened her eyes again and looked at me desperately through her tears.

"You're good enough for me, Lin. It's more like I'm not good enough for you. But I will try to be the one for you that you deserve. I want to be the one holding you in my arms whether you're good or bad. I want you to have a good time with me. I want to be the one to make you happy."

"Please don't make me weak. I'll break your heart someday without meaning it. I hurt everyone who loves me without meaning. So please just leave me alone." She whimpered.

"Tell me what's going on. What's the matter with you? Tell me about your problems so I can help you."

"I have fucking depressions and hurting myself!" She screamed suddenly.

The next moment there was silence between us.

"I'm sorry. That's why I don't want you to fall in love with me. I don't want to involve you in this. I will only hurt you unnecessarily without wanting to." She whispered after a while and closed her eyes again.

Now I understood her behaviour. Now it made sense why she never wore short clothes.

Lin didn't want us to see her scars and recent injuries.

"I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry I'm crazy and disgusting."

It got me moving again.

"You're not crazy or disgusting. You didn't choose to be like that or to act like that. I love you with your illness and your scars."

Lin cried more. "Why? Why me?"

I hugged her again. "Just because you are you."

She clawed my back.

"I love you, Mike. I love you so damn much."

A smile appeared on my lips and tears came to my eyes.

I kissed her head and let the tears fall.

"I love you too, baby. I love you too."

***

The next day I picked Lin up from her home before school started.

She looked a little better than yesterday.

Maybe a little tired, but definitely better than yesterday.

"Oh, hey. What are you doing here?" She asked me with a smile when she saw me leaning against my car and closed the door behind her.

"I came to pick you up. That's what a good boyfriend does from time to time." I replied with a little chuckle.

"We're together?" She said softly.