The Smell Of Spray Paint

Eighteen.

When I woke up in Gilbert's arms the next morning it took me a minute to really get what had just happened.

I sat up blinking, I was still tired but there was no way that I was going back to sleep, not until I worked out why I was in Gilbert's bed with his arms around me.

It was realising that I was naked that brought it all back. My mouth went dry and I felt as if the ground had fallen down from under me as it all came back at once.

I put my head in my hands, I was trembling already. Gilbert and I... We'd really been messing around last night and... Oh gosh. This couldn't be good. This could not be good.

It was my first time doing anything like that and I had let it happen in the middle of the night with a guy I didn't even know the feelings of.

I had to leave.

It was then when Gilbert started to stir. I scrambled back, fumbling my way back onto my own bed, pulling the sleeping bag up and around my naked and sticky body.

I swallowed. What was he gonna say? I mean, he couldn't have meant to do that with me... It was all a big mistake. He'd probably be really mad that I let it happened and it would be so embarrassing...

I let out a shaky breath, but to my surprise he gave me a sleepy smile, "Morning, Mattie." He stretched and yawned, sleepily he started to get dressed.

I didn't know how to reply. Was I to remind him of what happened? "H-Hey, Gilbert." Even if he did need reminding, I was too embarrassed to deliver the news.

But then he said something that I never expected, "Are you okay? Last night was quite sudden but you were so hot!"

He knew exactly what happened.

Why was he acting like this? Didn't it mean anything to him? Not even enough to talk about it seriously? This was that kiss he gave me when we were escaping Judas all over again.

I probably showed my feelings on my face but I didn't care anymore, "You remember that?" I asked him.

He laughed, "How could I forget?! It was great; you have got many cute moans, Mattie."

I looked at him as he grabbed some clothes and started to get dressed. Was that it? Was he passing things like this off as nothing again?

It didn't take me long to know what I had to do next, "Look, Gil'..." I said softly, "I don't think coming back here was such a good idea..."

He faltered and froze, looking at me. He looked like he was waiting for me to tell him that I was kidding.

"Mattie..." He smiled and crawled playfully hit my bare shoulder, "Do not say that! It is too early." He sat back.

I felt anger bubbling, why couldn't he ever take me seriously? "Shut up!" I insisted a little more sharply then I intended, "I'm going, okay? Coming back was a mistake." I bit my lip. Why was I so sad? This was what was for the best.

He looked a little anxious, you could almost see the realisation that I was being serious cloud his face, "Wait, no..." He started, "No, Mattie, you cannot leave me again! You told me that you would stay!" His eyes were searching mine.

I sighed, "Sorry." Why the heck was I even apologising? This was all his fault. He kisses me and fools around with me and still refused to take it seriously. I was shocked he even talked about last night, "You head to work, and I'll get my stuff together and go then so don't bother with dinner." I reached out and grabbed some underwear, shuffling into them.

He quickly put his hands over mine before I could move again, "Wait!" He sounded urgent. It was rare for Gilbert to feel any sense of urgency, "I do know that last night was crazy," He confessed, "But it does not matter, Ja? It was the heat of the moment, I will forget it!"