"We have no idea what happened," it's the worse thing you could hear a doctor say but hearing it about your son already in not the best health made it worse.
No one had a clue what could have made Gray's health change that quickly. It had been two days and they still didn't want to release him incase it happened again so they could monitor it. He on the other hand was trying his hardest to be released. I could tell he didn't feel good but wanted to only go home.
"You go back and I'll watch him for awhile," Connor tries to tell me as I'm practically falling asleep on his bed.
"It's okay, you can go back," I try to tell him.
"No, you go home. Take a shower, see Claire, do whatever you want," he tells me and his last few words only make me smile to myself.
"Well, I can't do that," I laugh at him as Gray grabs at a toy my mom had brought him.
"You know what I mean," he says not taking my humor instead responding in a serious tone.
"I do, but I'm fine," I try to tell him as I get up needing to wake up for the remainder of the time Gray is also awake.
"You might think you are, but you need to go home for at least a little while," he tells me walking towards me.
"I know, you think I do, but I'm fine," I try to tell him again.
"You know I'm not going to fight you on this," he says wrapping his arms around me. "Your mom will be here in a few minutes to take you home though," He grins to himself trying to do what he thinks is the best for me.
"I'm fine," I say sitting back down to get away from him.
"Hey, babes," mom says coming in smiling as big as always.
"I'm not leaving," I tell her and she sighs.
"I told you to let me do it," she says to Connor walking towards me. "Come on, just an hour or two. He'll be fine," she says and something deep down can't trust it. That's what you said last time, I can only think to myself knowing if I were to say it she would be upset since she still wasn't happy with herself and what had happened.
"I'm fine," I tell her again as she comes over trying to convince me.
"Just come home and take a shower," mom tries to persuade me.
"I'm fine really," I tell her trying to get my point across but clearly failing to understand.
"Ann," she sighs hugging me from behind my chair.
"I'm fine. How many times do I need to say it? I'm fine," I pop off out of pure frustration at how they were treating me.
"Okay, Ann," mom says just backing up and going to see Gray while I got up and walked to the empty half of his room that should have had another patient in it but didn't.
"Ann," Connor mutters following me as everything slowly comes to the surface.
"No," I say back to him louder than before. Looking at him I know what he's thinking and I can't stop the tears from starting to pour down my cheeks.
"I know," he says wrapping his arms around me so I can cry into his chest. "He's going to be okay," he whispers into my ear. Somehow he keeps repeating it managing to calm me down a little.
"Why does this happen to me," I murmur into his chest.
"I don't know, Annie, but we're going to be here through it all," he whispers and suddenly I feel bad for him. I'd been so focused on Gray that he had slipped my mind along with anyone other than Gray.
"I'm sorry. I'm horrible," I start crying harder into him.
"No, you're not horrible. You're doing the best you can," he tells me as sweetly as I think he can muster.
"I'm sorry, baby. This isn't what you thought you were getting," I say pulling away from him and trying to wipe my tears away the best I can.
"Your right it isn't," he says surprising me. "It's so so so much better," he says grabbing my elbows.
"Co-," I start to try and prove him wrong and give him his reasons to leave but I can't finish with his lips on mine.
"Stop, I love you, both of you more than you'll ever understand I love you both so much," he says with his hazel eyes stare into mine.
"Thank you," I can only whisper. "For getting me to shut up, and always being there, and always listening no matter how stupid it is that I have to say, and not just loving me but loving my little boy from the beginning," I stutter as he's eyes start to water as well.
He just kisses me.
