Taking Chances

Page 4

'I don't know what you think,but I'm fine. There's no need to worry about it. Whatever happens,I'll try my best to give my best.' Zahra started her speech without even gave me time to say something,or to sit down properly. I raised my pointing finger and she stopped.

'What happen? Don't tell me you're fine because you're not. One second I saw you coming in to the office,you're okay. But after you saw Amanda,you're changed.'

'Amanda?'

'The girl who was in my waiting room.'

'So that's her name.'

'Zahra,what happen? Is something wrong?'

She let out a loud sigh,I knew she's not as okay as she thought. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't let my emotion mixed up. I thought I had managed it well,so that nobody need to see it.'

'See what?'

'My emotion. It breaks my heart to see such an innocent child to cry and fight like that. I know the nurse and others was just trying to help her,but the agony when she cried and yelled breaks my heart. I wish I could hold her and calm her. But who am I to say stuff like that. I mean,even the mother knows what's best,and she just stood there and watch. What illness does she have?'

There's something warm running in my chest,knowing that she's not as cold as I thought. 'CKD.'

'huh?'

'Chronic kidney disease.'

Her eyes widen and she moved her hand to her mouth. 'Innalillaahi. Will she be okay?'

'No. Unless if she agrees for kidney transplantation.'

'Is there any disagreement from her parents?'

'Her parents can't pay for the medication. I don't think they can afford to pay the transplantation.'

'You can help her,right?'

There's something in her eyes and voice showed me that she saw me as a hero. I couldn't help but to smile. Although at this moment,a smile could be translated into something wrong. I cleared my throat to suppress my internal happiness. 'Kidney,heart,lungs,any kinds of transplantation is very expensive.'

'So what you're saying is that you can't help her?'

'I can. It's a easy thing for me. All I need to do is pick up the phone,call some friends,then it's done.' I hate how I sounded so arrogant, it shocked me. All she did was threw me some challenging words and I would bow down to all of her demands.

'So ... What are you waiting for?'

'Time. She needs to heal first.' That and revenge, but Zahra didn't need to know that I'd waited for so long to show Katrina what I could do to her life. And when the chance arrived, I would play it nice and easy, until I got what I want. How I love to destroy her life as she destroyed my believe in women.

Zahra nodded her head.

'Tell me ... Can I call you Zahra?'

She nodded again.

'Have you ever feel angry to someone? So angry so that all you can think about is how to pay revenge.'

'Yeah. Once. But it's not worth it. It consumes my mind,I couldn't think about anything else. Including my future. I just stuck there. Waiting for my opportunity to come. Then I realized,it's time to move on. Besides,it's good for us if we don't have the chance for a revenge here,she has to pay it later,in the afterlife.'

There were 2 things that caught my ears and eyes. Her pure regret was the 1st. It was so pure and intense I swore I could feel it. Then came the question of who was the receiver of her revenge. At first,I thought she was having a heartache with a guy. But when she mentioned it was a she,somehow,I felt relieved.

'The punishment would be hard there,you know.'

'I can move on once my revenge is done.'

She snapped her eyes at me with sadness clearly shown. 'Are you sure about that? What makes you think that you can move on right after you're done? Let's say that I have a grunge to a person for a year. She has a permanent place in my heart,that's a fact whether I like it or not. And once my revenge is done,how can I erased a name that has been in my heart and mind for a long time?'

I can't believe she was right about it. 'You're a wise woman.' How I wished I was a wise man.

'Her name will always haunt me. That is not moving on.'

I got speechless. I realized I hadn't moved on since the day I found out about what Katrina had done behind my back. All in my mind was how to pay her back. It's all about her.