Clocks//Stucky✔

Four

Bucky was pacing his room, trying to clear his mind.

He had the money to leave, but for how long could he escape HYDRA? He didn't think he could run for very long.

When Bucky finally pulled himself together, he thought of the most reasonable choice of action.

Suicide was very high on the list.

But he decided that he wasn't going to let that happen. As long as he was alive, HYDRA was still going to come for him. If he was dead, they'd find a way to make another soldier.

So the best choice of action was getting on a boat, and running.

Bucky stopped pacing, going to gather all his things in a backpack he had acquired, and left his home. He left Aiandama.

Getting to and on the boat was easy. He simply paid, and found an isolated seat, looking out at the ocean.

The distance to the main island wasn't bad. He paid and found an isolated seat.

Bucky didn't have anything to think about or do, considering he refused to let his thoughts wander to Aiandama or Steve.

Sleep wasn't on the table either. If Bucky slept, he would have nightmares. And still grieving for Aiandama, they nightmares would most certainly be based around her.

And if not her, then Steve. Bucky seemed to be thinking a lot about Steve lately.

The death of Aiandama only brought more memories of his best friend, or more realistic, his former best friend. Bucky wasn't Sergeant James Barnes anymore. He was hardly Bucky.

Bucky tried to clear his thoughts, looking instead to the window to his right.

Bucky thought about his hygiene. He probably smelled like sewage, and his hair was greasy and tangled, and his breath was rancid.

Maybe he'd have enough money to get a hotel room and clean himself up. He had to look presentable to run from his past.

It was sooner than Bucky thought when the boat docked. Bucky was quick to slink off the vessel, distancing himself from others as possible.

Bucky wandered the small town he was in, subconsciously looking for HYDRA while looking for a motel.

Bucky sighed in relief as he spotted a motel, signs advertising the cheap price. Bucky only needed one night. He can't stay in one place for too long. That's what killed Aiandama.

Bucky stayed silent as he walked to the front desk, handing the overweight man the money in exchange for a key.

Bucky set his bag down on the floor as soon as he got in, moving quickly and closing the door, locking it. He was tempted to jam the door shut.

Bucky was relieved to see a crappy washer and drying. He stripped out of his clothes, dumping them all into the wash, along with the one extra change of clothes he had.

Bucky took this time to shower. He stepped into space, turning the water on. Bucky shivered at the sudden cold but felt immensely refreshed.

Bucky soon turned the water almost burning hot, enjoying the slight pain of the water. Bucky knew he would soon get used to it.

Bucky took the small bottle of shampoo the motel offered, dumping all of it in his hair, lathering his head with the soap.

He felt lighter as the layers of grime were washed from his body and down into the drain. Bucky let out a content sigh.

Looking down, Bucky saw the dirt turning the water brown at his feet. He felt gross at that moment. He imagined the dirt as blood, a side effect of being the Winter Soldier for so long.

Bucky then washed his hair with conditioner, washing it out in turn. He stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around himself.

He looked in the mirror, feeling numb. He didn't recognize his reflection. His reflection was a man with hair a little above his shoulders, cold, dead gray eyes, and pale skin. His reflection was no longer the snarky man he used to be.

Forcing himself to turn away, Bucky walked out of the bathroom, bringing the towel up to dry his hair. He couldn't stand mirrors.

Bucky walked over to the laundry, seeing as though he wouldn't have clothes for while longer.

Bucky felt too exposed. He was very conscious of his mechanical appendage. He felt like HYDRA was going to burst through his door at any moment.

Feeling distressed, Bucky sat down at the edge of the bed on the sheets that most likely haven't been washed in months.

For a man who has so much time to think, it's almost sad that Bucky won't allow himself to.

Absolute numbness is safe. Feelings are dangerous. Feelings get innocent people killed.

After a while of sitting and not thinking, a sounded through the room, signaling the laundry to finish. But it still needed to be dried.

Bucky decided to try and take a nap, which in hindsight, was a horrible idea.

This round of nightmares included Aiandama. But instead of it just being the corpse, Bucky was the one to end her life. To write the two words that ruined everything.

But the worst part was he was Bucky, trapped in the Winter Soldier, completely conscious, with no control over his actions.

Bucky tried and tried to wake himself up as the Winter Soldier stalked out of the house, and on to the next target.

But the next target... Bucky was going to need to wake himself up now.

If the nightmare proceeded, Bucky knew he was going to scream and cry in his sleep, and he really didn't want to get kicked out.

The metal arm acted, squeezing Bucky's flesh hand until Bucky woke up, a giant bruise now forming on his wrist.

Sleep was not an option. As soon as Bucky got all his clothes, he could collect his things, and leave as soon as possible.

Bucky was grateful for the buzz that was the end of the wash. Bucky pulled on the clothes, still warm from the dryer. It was nice.

Pulling all his belongings together, grabbing a few things from the motel, (just some hygiene products) he left the room, walking to find a bus stop to take him, someone.

Anywhere away from his problems.