Clocks//Stucky✔

Ten

Memories started to flood Bucky at the sight of the drawings.

Steve managed to get ahold of some of his old sketchbooks from the '40s. The paper was tattered and faded and the book wasn't in good shape, but the drawings still looked amazing.

One drawing really stood out. It was of 30's  Bucky sleeping. Steve was reluctant to share but ended up presenting it anyways.

Another, 30's Bucky laughing. Bucky wanted to laugh like that again. He didn't think he remembered how to laugh.

Then Steve flipped the page, going to flip another before Bucky stopped him.

"I remember this." He spoke, pointing to a drawing of himself looking thoughtful at a book. "You made me hold that pose for almost two hours. It wasn't even a good book." A faint smile ghosted Bucky's face at the memory.

"Yeah, you were always asking when you could move." Steve too, smiled at the drawing, it growing wider as he gazed at Bucky's drawn up lips. 

"And you were always so patient. You are now. I'm so grateful you're patient with me."

"I'll be patient forever, even if I get the smallest portion of you back."

☆

The two spent hours reminiscing about the past. And it helped Bucky a whole lot.

His memory was coming back, and clearer now. But there was always the anxiety. The gnawing thought that with a few simple words, Bucky would turn back into the Winter Soldier.

Bucky still felt unsafe, still in edge, but being around Steve was better than being alone.

But Bucky still had nightmares.

They tormented him through the night, making him scared to close his eyes.

"I'm going off to bed, Bucky. Do you need anything before I do?" Steve spoke. The two were sitting on the couch, watching a bit of tv.

"No, thank you, Steve. Goodnight." Bucky wanted a hug though. But he didn't say anything.

Steve smiled a bit and nodded, turning and walking down the hall towards his room.

It was only a few minutes before Bucky decided he'd try to sleep. But he was afraid.

He crept down the same hallway, turning and entering the room that was his for the time being.

Being reluctant to fall asleep, Bucky sat on his bed for a moment, thinking about Steve.

Bucky knew that what he was feeling now towards Steve was affection.

That was normal, of course, to feel affectionate to your best friend, but a little whisper in the back of his brain told him it was more than just that.

But even if it was true, and Bucky acknowledged it, Steve was with Sharon and was happy with her.

Bucky didn't want to upset Steve.

Decided he had done enough thinking for the night, he lay down on his side.

Taking a few deep breaths, Bucky pulled the blankets up to his neck and closed his eyes.

☆

"You're wasting everyone's time."

"Worthless."

"HYDRA will come for you anyways. Why should I care what happens to you now?"

An image of Steve towering over Bucky consumed him. He felt himself crying as Steve degraded him, spitting insults.

"Steve, please! It hurts!"[Yall nasty lmao] Bucky shouted but no sound escaped his lips.

A chorus of "Hail Hydra" echoed everywhere, drowning out all sound, except a thundering gunshot.

Steve was replaced by a dead Aiandama lay on the floor, blood leaking down the walls and to her body. The Winter Soldier stood, holding the gun that delivered her death.

Bucky couldn't move, the two words bouncing around.

A wail of despair finally escaped his lips.

The sound of a door bursting open caused Bucky to jolt awake, tears and fear dripping out of him.

"Bucky! Oh my god," Steve. Normal, sweet Steve. "I heard you scream and I- oh god." Bucky couldn't stop the sob that escaped his lips.

"S-Steve," he choked out, latching onto the man. "I can't. I can't sleep without these nightmares happening. I need you, Steve." Bucky couldn't stop crying.

"I'm here. I'm here Bucky and I'm not leaving you." Steve held the broken man in his arms, softly rubbing his backs until the sobs simply turned into heavy breathing.

"I got nightmares, too. After I got out of the ice, then again after you fished me out of the river." Steve paused. "I couldn't stop imagining the things they did to you. But you're here now and sometimes I think it's a dream."

"I don't want to lose you ever again. I'm going to protect you this time. Till the end of the line."