Still Loving You (Synyster Gates Series: Book 4)

This Is Why I'm Here

Midterms are nearly over and I'm spending my entire Spring Break updating stories! 
Oh and if you guys can't tell what's going on with Jackie in this chapter, the next ones will be clear. Are you excited to see how she does without Brian's help? Cause I am ;) 
I love you guys so much :)<3 

After spending forty-eight hours awake, tending to Noah and Sophia every ten seconds, Brian desperately needed a break and set out to join his best friends and band mates for a brew or two at their classic hang out, Johnny's Saloon. He was looking forward to getting away, even more so as Jackie assured him that she would be able to single-handily hold down the fort down. He trusted her word. 

The night, however, wasn't going as he had originally intended. Rather than playing a few games of pool and tossing back some bottles, Brian found himself hunched over a pub table--his arms supporting his head as he fell in and out of a sleep--while Zacky, Johnny and Matt placed bets on who'd win the current game being played. Despite the loud sounds of The Ramones playing overhead, drowning out the sounds of laughter, clinks of liquor glasses and the dull snaps of cues hitting the billiard balls, it seemed like the only place he could find to rest his eyes without the constant cries of a baby and screams of a toddler.

Although he was barely on his second bottle of Tsingtao, the alcohol effortlessly sent him into a lethargic state. It was completely new to his body. Usually, Brian would have been able to consume four or five beers without feeling the least bit fatigued. Now that he was running on ten hours of sleep over a forty-eight hour period, he could not function as he normally would have--let alone stay awake to enjoy the company. 

His friends were unaware of his current position as they were deep into their fourth game of pool. With Johnny and Jason placing fifty dollar bets on Zacky's future victory each game they played, Matt was certain he was going to win the hefty total of four hundred dollars--all he needed was to clear the table. Preparing the pool cue between his fingers and hand in a comfortable position, Matt proceeded to bend at the waist and eyed his target in front of the cue ball. "Zachary James, you are going down," he threatened in a monotonous tone. Seconds later, he hit the cue ball and managed to curve the billiard ball into the pocket of the table. "Fuck you, Zacky!" He shouted in victory, turning to Brian for a victorious high-five. "Are you asleep?" 

Zacky walked around the table, rolling hundred dollar bills in his hand, and took the seat opposite of Brian. He set the money on the table; the bills unraveling once they hit the surface. He could pick up the anxiety and apprehension--even in an unconscious state--and it worried him. "You okay?" With no response, Zacky slammed the table causing his hand to sting with pain. "Brian!" He shouted over Blitzkrieg Bop. Brian raised his head and rubbed his face in an irritated manner, acknowledging Zacky and Matt standing off to the side. "Are you okay, brother?" 

"I don't know," he replied in a groggy, powerful voice, "I'm so fucking tired and I'm emotionally and mentally over whelmed." He propped up his head by resting it on the palm of his right hand and began to trace the thin ring of water on polished, grainy surface of the maple pub table. "And I overheard Jackie, and Lacey talking in the kitchen the other day. If I don't get her trust back, then I'm screwed. She's going to divorce me. It's really fucking with my mind."

"Then gain her trust back," Matt bluntly replied, giving his shoulders a shrug before raising the bottle of Heineken to his lips and taking a swig; the crispy, bitter liquid swimming down his throat. "It's the only obvious thing to do if you love her."

Brian knew how hard it was going to be to gain his wife's trust back. In his eyes, it seemed nearly impossible. After putting her through so much, he ddn't have a clue as to how he was going to even begin to gain her trust back. "How am I going to do that? I'm leaving for tour soon. It's one of the reasons why this entire thing started, you do realize that, right? She can't trust me on tour and I can't blame her," he answered; the disappointment in his voice discernible.