Life's a Laugh

Part 2 ~ WALES PLANNING

At School

Monday

9:06am

Chris (Christina) and I are heading for a year group assembly. Assemblies are sooo dull it’s unreal!

"Why were assemblies invented and who is responsible for them? I would like to smash their balls in with a mallet!"

I looked at her and laughed.

"What if they're female?" I asked fairly.

"Umm..." she contemplated before answering, "It wouldn’t have been a woman!"

"You love men, don’t you?" I said sarcastically, shaking with laughter.

"Hell yeah!" she said, punching the air "besides, everyone normal hates sembles!"

"True, true" I agreed.

3 minutes later

I can’t believe this! We have been sat here for 2 minutes and I’ve already got pins and needles in my legs! It's not fair, how come Chris doesn't suffer like I do? I felt a poke in my ribs and she pointed to the door. I looked in the direction of her finger just as the Deputy Head walked in. Mr Whiteman stood at the front beside the projector. He is fairly short with wispy greyish-brown hair and a good posture.

‘He looks like he's sat on a 4 foot pole!'

Alex's (Alexandra) voice drifts into my head making me snigger, Chris gives me a look and I mouth "later". She shrugs and puts her elbows on her knees, then her head in her hands and begins a little nap.

25 minutes later

"...and that, kids, brings me to the matter of litter in the shelter area..."

I’m barely aware of Mr Whiteman's voice as I drifted into a state of 'present in body but not in mind' as my school report said last year. Its soooo boring! Suddenly, I felt someone pushing on my back. I turned round as discreetly as I could and saw Alex, EB and Frankie waving madly and all pointing at something in Frankie’s hands. Sliding slowly backwards, Chris and I joined the row behind us to see what Frankie's holding. It was some kind of kit list... then when I looked around Inoticed that everyone had one... except me and Chris. I jabbed EB in the ribs and mouthed 'what’s that?'

'Kit list'

'I can see that! What’s it for?'

'Camping in Wales!"

'You’re going camping to Wales! Unlucky, heard it rains a lot!' I smirked but then saw the confused look on her face.

'But you’re going to aren’t you?' she asks, still mouthing.

'What?!' I say out loud and realise my mistake and look quickly to the front. Everyone was looking at me and Mr Whiteman called to the back,

"I said that volunteers are needed to help repaint the front office, does this mean you are volunteering Jessie? I wouldn’t have singled you out as one who would want to help."

A ripple of laughter crossed the hall, and I could feel colour creeping up my face.

"No sir," I called back "sorry, just some idiot was talking and I didn’t hear what you said..." I trailed off glaring pointedly at the four girls to my left, all of whom had collapsed in fits of silent hysterics.

"I thought so," smirked Mr Whiteman "anyway, that’s the end of assembly, if you didn’t collect a kit list there are spare up here, OK kids, lessons!"

A groan sounded as he said that. Chris and I hurried up to the front to get a kit list then parted for lessons, me to maths and Chris to double science.