Life's a Laugh

Part 4 ~ WALES DAYS 2 AND 3

DAY 2

2:24am

The four of us are still up talking. We have passed ‘tired’ and are now so overtired, we can’t get to sleep. Well I know I'm in that state, Cassie, maybe not. She got up and sat on me about an hour ago, claiming “I am the Phantom Vanilligy Stealer! I am here to steal your vanilligies!” I think she meant virginity... but I can't be sure. And I hope she was joking. Cassie also admitted to us who she was secretly crushing on! Okay... it took a bit of persuasion but she still told us.

“Shane Richards!?” shrieked EB, “really!”

“Shhh! EB, shut up! I don’t want the whole camp site knowing!” whispered Cassie. Her blush was so deep I could just about see it through the darkness.

“Err... Cassie,” asked Chris, “have you seen his legs? I have, I've seen them in PE. Trust me it’s not good, the opposite of good, they could give fully grown, body-building men the colly-wobbles along with a side dish of nightmares!” I burst out laughing, and then stopped when I saw the murderous look in Cassie’s eyes.

“Chris shut up, I don’t care!”

“They’re hairy... like Mr Tumnus’ legs in The Chronicles of Narnia!” EB and I laughed even harder. Chris carried on “He’s a fawn, have you seen the film? He’s got thick, dark brown hair, only real difference is that Shane is blond and Shane doesn’t run around naked!”

“Christina! If you don’t shut your mouth I will ram a torch in it!”

“No tah, I'm allergic!” laughed Chris.

“We are never going to forget that little fact, Cassie!” warned EB.

We had all fallen silent, as we heard something move in the tent to our left, tent 11, which was home to Pollyanna, Marieann, Alice and a girl called Georgia Smith. Then the rustling moved to outside our tent. As I was nearest the door, I was about to unzip the door and ask who was there but the person outside beat me to it. They unzipped the door a bit and stuck their hand in, wielding a torch.

“Will you guys shut up!” growled the voice belonging to Georgia. Then she started thrashing her hand about as if trying to clout something. She succeeded in her walloping mission. I know this because guess whose head was still by the door? Mine! Georgia left, clearly happy that her mission went well and I was left lying on the bed clutching my head and moaning. I could hear the others sniggering.

5:30am

I woke up absurdly early after very little sleep and with a pounding headache. I bet I've got a bruise! We weren’t supposed to have breakfast until half 7. Meaning I had to wait an hour and a half until I could eat breakfast L. Looking around the tent in the gloom, I could see Cassie, asleep, and EB, asleep and curled up like a sausage roll! I assumed Chris was there to but I couldn’t see her bed, it was still too dark. Deciding I needed the loo, I picked up my head torch, hand torch and wash bag, slid my trainers on and unzipped the tent door.

Closing it again behind me, I was hit full on by a cold gust of wind, which caught my hood, blowing it off and biting me hard in the face. Shivering, I pulled my hood back up and set off towards the toilet block. It was dark enough for me to use both my torches, but the trees still cast dark shadows onto the path before me. I was half way to the loos when I heard a twig snap on the path up ahead. Freezing where I was, I squinted into the early morning mist. Listening hard, there were no other noises.

After what felt like hours I finally plucked up the courage to creepforwards cautiously and deciding I had imagined the noise, walked on. I heard nothing until... WHAM! Something flew at me through the gap in the hedge and leapt on me. I tried to scream but my voice stuck in my throat, I struggled and flailed around, trying to make some contact with the unknown thing that was pinning me to the ground. After minutes of thrashing a voice spoke, well, shouted.

“JESSIE! WHAT THE HELL?!”

“Holy Mother of your Mother, HELPPPPPPPP!” Ishouted.

“No, my name is not the ‘Holy mother of your mother’, although that would make me my grandma.” said the mystery person, thoughtfully. The person lifted themselves off me and flopped onto the damp, dewy grass. I paused, where did I know that voice from?

“Chris?”

“No, Santa!”

“Oh good!” I said sarcastically, “I was hoping to bump into you! I was gunna ask about my letter to you last year, I didn’t get a single thing from it!”

“I'm terribly sorry, I'll have I word with my elves.” replied Chris. We looked at each other for a second, before Chris burst out laughing.

“I don't know why you’re laughing!” I said, rather indignantly, as folded my arms, “I nearly had heart failure!”

“S-sorry, but... but your face... was beyond... priceless!” she stuttered through her laughter, “I'm... s-s-so sorry, but...” she couldn’t continue. She clutched her stomach, wheezing and panting, trying to get her breath back. I pushed myself off the ground and started walking, as though I wasn’t secretly peeing my pants with fear.

“No, Jessie! Wait!” called Chris, “I didn’t mean it!” She grabbed my arm and twisted me round. “Really, Jessie!”

“OK, Chris, I believe you, now let go!” I said rather desperately. Having been given the fright of my life, I was, by now, rather desperate for a wee!

“You’re pissed off with me, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but now’s really not the time!”

“Jessie, I...”

“Christina! If you don't let me go right now I will widdle myself!”

She pulled her hand away quickly and laughed while I ran off to the loo block.

Long and short of it is that EB and Cassie were not sympathetic, not that I expected them to be. They laughed themselves beyond sanity.

DAY 3

Wednesday

2:00pm

We went on the High Ropes today! Oh my gosh it was high! There were three parts to it.

1 ~ Tower Building

2 ~ Large Ladder

3 ~ Trapieze

9:30ish

I had brought a packet of big cheddars with me and EB had this genius idea. So at about half past 9, we were shepherded back to our tents by Mr Hooper and Mrs Gater.

“Shall we?” asked EB, smiling widely.

“Yep, let’s do it!” I replied.

On the pretence of going to the loos, EB ran towards tent 9 (the tent containing Andrew, Callum, Sampson and Jasper) and lifting up the bottom of the door, threw a handful of cheddars at them!

“HAVE SOME BISCUITS!!!!” she yelled as she ran off towards the loos. God, I was laughing! Ok, admittedly I didn’t go with her but I was giving her moral support from where I was.

“Who the hell was that?” shouted Callum sticking his head out of the door. He spotted me, still laughing like a loon on loon tablets, and pointed at me.

“It wasn’t... me!” I said through my laughing, “It was EB!” whoops, dropped her in it :/ .

“Hmm... ok...” he said. He went back inside their tent.

“Did EB really do it?” asked Cassie appearing beside me in her jamas.

“You bet she did!”

“God, I love that girl!”