Life's a Laugh

Part 7 ~ LESSONS AND CLOSETS

5:00pm

In the twins room, at their desk

Doing French coursework

I HATE FRENCH!!!!!! Don’t tell Theo and Seb that I said that though! I'm really stuck on this coursework and they both refused to write it for me! HELPPP! I AM DOOOOMED!!! And very bored!

5:12pm

I have given my hand mirror a face! That is how bored I am! It’s got little eyes and it has a bushy moustache! Hehee! It’s soooo cute!

5:15pm

SOOO BOORRREEEDDDD!!!

5:18pm

Seb came in to see if I was ok. He walked in to find me trying to do that break dancing, head spinney thing that break dancers do! He left immediately. Without offering to help with my French! How very dare him!

5:22pm

Seb came back in (with me still on my head) with a plate of chocolate hobnobs! YAY! FOOOOOD!

“Brain food?” he asked, handing me the plate. I grabbed one and took a huge bite! Mmmmm.... calories!

5:45pm

Seb and I got into a ‘hobnob’ competition! How many can you fit in your mouth at once? Seb only managed two, but I got 3 and a half!! I win! I win! Uh huh, uh huh I win!

5:59pm

Seb has left me to battle the French by myself! Grr!

Monday

Period 3

Maths

So here I am, in maths, sat between Seb and a girl called Phoebe, who is (apart from Seb) my only friend in maths. I know everyone else; I just don’t talk to many of them. Seb and Phoebe had finished the work and Phoebe was warbling on about how she hates push-up bras.

“-but they just look so uncomfortable!”

I looked back at the worksheet. Expand and simplify 4(3d-9e) – 2(6d-5e). I answered my last question and looked at Phoebe’s exercise book. Her work was set out quite neatly; her handwriting is really small whereas mine is huge! Phoebe finished her rant just as Mr Mowforth, our maths teacher walked over.

“-I doubt I'll ever need a push-up bra.”

“Those look nice.” Mr Mowforth said as he walked passed. Phoebe and I glanced at each other.

“Did he just comment on my chest?” Phoebe asked, mouth hanging open.

“I don’t know...” I looked at Seb, “Did you hear?”

“No, but he was looking at your exercise books.” he laughed.

“Hmm....” Phoebe sounded doubtful.

Tuesday

Periods 1 and 2

Double Geography

We are in a computer room for these two lessons. Alex was off ill so I sat next to my friend, Sathix Townsend. We are sat opposite two boys called Jake and Sam. Sathix and I were working together to make lists of Push and Pull factors for life and living in Darfur, Sudan. Jake and Sam were making comments trying to annoy Sath.

“Can’t you guys just be quiet?” Sath hissed at them.

“No.” They both said at the same time. Sathix reached into her pocket and pulled out a little contraption which she hid under the desk.

Leaning over she whispered in my ear, “If they annoy me, I'm gunna use this!” I looked at it. It was small, red and looked like a plastic automatic slingshot with a small elastic band hooked over the top of it.

“What is it?”

“An elastic band pinger!” she looked at me as though I was an idiot.

“Oh, of course! That’s so obvious! I’m such an idiot!” I said sarcastically.

“Yes you are.”

“Thanks, I think.”

10 minutes later

Sathix and I are trying to work up the courage to ping an elastic band at our teacher, Mr McMurrugh.

“You do it!”

“No, you!”

In the end neither of us did it.... Because we are cowards.

5 minutes later

Jake finally managed to annoy Sath to the point where she could not stand it anymore. Loading her Elastic band pinger, she waited until he looked back at his computer screen, grinning like an idiot. Sathix lifted the weapon and Sam smiled at the sight of it, but I think he may have been pleased that it was not pointing at him. Taking aim, Sathix fired and caught Jake, square on his temple, just beside his eye.

“AHHHH! F**K, WHAT WAS THAT!” roared Jake, putting a hand to his eye and glaring at Sath. Sam and I had exploded with laughter, both clutching our stomachs at the look on Jake’s face.

“What’s going on over here?” asked Mr McMurrugh, appearing by our table, at which point both Sam and I rolled off our chairs still laughing. The look on Jake’s face was incredibly funny.

“I asked a question!” said Mr McMurrugh sternly, “What is so funny?” he stared at Sathix, and she gave him her best ‘innocent face’ which she is scarily good at.

“Nothing Sir, Jake just came out of the closet!” Sath said casually.

“What!” yelled Jake, in horror, “I did no such thing!” causing Sam and I (still on the floor) to laugh harder still.

“Well, Jake.” said Mr McMurrugh, “I have nothing against homosexuals but please refrain from declaring your sexuality in my class.” He walked back to his desk.

Jake glared angrily at Sath, as Sam and I got back into our seats, wiping tears from our faces.

“There is a chance that he may be plotting some form of revenge!” I croaked, the laughing having worn me out slightly. Sath just shrugged.

Period 5

ICT

I don’t think Jake is having a good day today. Firstly, his temple has a bruise on it, nice and blue! Secondly, by lunch, everyone knew about his ‘coming out’ and he had an omelette launched at him across the canteen. Lastly, a boy called Tom leaned over to me and said, “What music shall I upload onto Jake’s Grooveshark account?”

I suggested JLS. Jake hates JLS with a passion! Typing in the name, Tom uploaded every single JLS song onto Jake’s account, with doubles from other albums. Then, because Tom is a PC wizard, he transferred Jake’s screen onto the Activboard (electronic whiteboard) instead of Mrs Milliner’s computer screen! The best part was that Jake listened to five of the 802 JLS songs, complaining the whole time, but didn’t realise until he checked the artist! Then he saw the Activboard.

“TOM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHY IS IT ON THE BOARD?” Jake bellowed, which of course drew attention to the board. Everyone went silent.

“So it’s true?” asked Emma.

“What is?” Jake snapped at her.

“You came out this morning and you’re listening to JLS?”

“F**KING HELL! I DIDN’T COME OUT! I AM NOT GAY!” roared Jake, stamping to the door and leaving the lesson, leaving me and Tom, leaning on each other for support and weeping with suppressed laughter.

Although apparently, after he calmed down, Jake himself was crying with laughter at the whole situation!