re•mem•ber (Taegi) | COMPLETED

Memories

Yoongi woke up with little drops of drool traced all over his arm. He wiped his mouth of any excess saliva and pushed himself up, sitting on Tae's spot in the bed.

The silence lingered in the air for far longer than Yoongi would have wanted to.

He was used to it. Kind of.

He knew that it's been six months since he last slept in this bed with Tae. But yesterday was the first time Yoongi heard Tae's voice.

Yoongi wondered if it was selfish of him to want to hear more of Tae's soothing voice. To crave something that no longer was his.

In a way, Tae had never really stopped being his - but in a bigger, much more realistic way: Tae has stopped being his six months ago.

Yoongi crawled out of bed, rummaging through Tae's side of the closet. Most of Tae's belongings had been taken out, some of his shoes were scattered across the floor. A couple of shirts hung on some of the hangers, along with some pants.

Yoongi pulled out a blue and white striped shirt, looking at it fondly. He tossed it onto the bed and continued to look through the closet.

Tae's scent lingered on the clothes as Yoongi continued to comb through them. Yoongi pulled out a pair of jeans, pulling them onto either side of his hips and giggling to himself at how the end of the jeans were spread onto the floor from the height difference.

Nonetheless, Yoongi tossed the jeans onto the bed. He stared at the back of the closet, where he saw a small box.

Yoongi got on all fours and crawled to the small corner, grabbing the box and a small journal that was right underneath it.

Yoongi sat in the closet, holding the journal in one hand and the box in the other. He debated on whether opening them, telling himself this is Tae's privacy. But somewhere between "Tae is my boyfriend we have boundaries" and "Tae might never even remember this" Yoongi decided he was going to open the box.

Yoongi crawled into the corner of the closet, pressing his back against the wall, setting the journal beside him. He took a small breath before he opened up the box, revealing a gold band. His breath hitched as he pulled out the band with his fingers, examining the small diamonds that were lined across the gold.

He twirled the band in his hand, a bit of the sunlight from outside of the window poured into the closet; shining light onto the "I love you, - Tae" that was engraved on the inside of the band.

Yoongi stared at the engraving, tears started to line his eyes as he continued staring.

He quickly wiped off the tears, refusing to let himself cry as he put the band back into the box.

He set the box down, staring at it as he pushed himself up, letting the back of his head press against the wall as he swallowed the tears that didn't seem to go away.

His hand fell down to his side, brushing against the journal. Yoongi turned his attention to the small book, grabbing it and bringing it up to eye level. He read the words scribbled on the cover: "Marriage Proposal????"

Yoongi let out a dry chuckle, choking on the sobs that were contained in his throat. It was just like Tae to jot down everything.

Yoongi flipped open to the first page, sitting up at he read through the first thing written: "Min Yoongi, I want to marry you." The "I want to marry you" was then scratched out and followed by "I want you to marry me."

Yoongi smiled at the page, he could just imagine Tae struggling to find the right words to ask him to marry him.

Yoongi flipped through more pages, there was a lot of scratched out things that he couldn't decipher.

"I love you"
"I want to create a family with you."
"Let's runaway together"
"You're the best thing to happen to me."

Yoongi's blinked the tears away as he continued to skim through all the pages, until he reached the very last page Tae wrote in.

"Min Yoongi,
In the world we live in, we have to hide who we really are. Although, that's not the type of life others want to live - the very fact that I get to live THIS life, with YOU, is a good enough reason to continue to do it.
I love you, Yoongi. I've always loved you. As a friend, as a best friend, as a role model, as a boyfriend - and now, i want to love you as a husband.
In my lifetime, all I've known are my days spent with the Min Yoongi.
From play dates our parents set up when we were kids, to carpooling together to and from school, to eating lunch and hanging out in our treehouse as we started to grow up.
Hearing the horn honk outside when you came to pick me up in your car, grabbing gas station snacks after school, graduating... College...
The very first kiss we shared.
All I've ever known - was you, and that's all I ever want to know.
In this life. In the next life. And anything that comes after that - I want to have the comfort and safety of loving a boy named Min Yoongi.
So, I want to ask you - will you runaway with me from this country, and marry me?"

By the time Yoongi was done reading the words Tae had wrote, his tears started staining the paper, smudging the ink just a bit. Yoongi slammed the journal shut and sobbed audibly into his hands.

Unlike the first cry, this cry was a mixture of sadness, anger, and regret. All the emotions burned into Yoongi's chest as he cried harder, choking on his own sobs and tears as he did.

If Tae has asked him. Or if he had asked Tae. If they had ran away. If.

Yoongi let out a small breath as he tried to compose himself back together, wiping off the wet stains from his cheeks and blowing his nose with the inside of his shirt.

Now, more than ever, Yoongi wanted - needed to find Tae.