Recollections Of A Naughty Muslimah

An Ocean Apart

Dear E,

I've never been one for long distance relationships, have never truly believed in them. Despite the technological advancements that easily help you connect with people on the other side of the globe these days, I've always thought that they weren't enough, that they weren't quite the same.

I had a belief that no gadgets could help you catch the crinkle in your beloved one's eyes, no screen could allow you to feel their warmth; no speaker would enable you to catch the little tremors in their voice and no amount of time spent typing could rival that tight hug shared in person.

It was for sure not the same as pranking each other for no particular reason, sharing a mischievous glance every now and then, or even bursting out laughing at an inside joke leaving the people around us clueless.

They lacked personal touch, they lacked essence.

There were hundreds of things that cannot be done in long distance relationships; they were so clearly limited in so many aspects, bound by so many stuffs, known to not last forever.

They were destined to fizzle out right from the beginning and no sane person would ever enter it willingly.

Or so I thought.

Honestly E, I never knew how wrong I could be. I never knew how wrong my assumptions would turn out to be; and for once in my life E, I'm actually happy about being proved wrong. I'm happy about seeing my inhibitions crumble to dust and there's not even the slightest bit of fear lurking in me.

There's no panick, there's no pressure, there are no pessimistic thoughts swirling in my head. Instead there's peace knowing that I needn't be scared about frightening you off or boring you by being my own self.

Somehow deep down I know you wouldn't turn out like the rest of those who left me hanging, left me hurting. I know you wouldn't hurt me, would never for a million years even think of disappointing me. Don't ask me how, don't ask me why, I don't have the answer to those question myself. I just feel it in my bones that we're destined to be.

Sounds cheesy right?

Oh well, don't deny. It's practically dripping with a variety of cheese, so much so that I could even start a dairy with the sheer quantity of it. 😜

Sometimes I truly think if the people around me didn't know me better, speculated things and checked our chats when I'm not looking, they'd for sure confirm in their pretty little heads that I'm in a relationship and take me to task. I know for sure that they'd do it! What about you? Would your people think so too?

Maybe not considering the fact that you're always listening to some Islaamic lecture or reading Qur'aan or doing something beneficial in your phone whenever you're left to yourself.

Do you know that I actually admire you for that? Taking into account the atmosphere you were brought up in, I understand you'd have had to struggle a lot in order to stay away from those who could have a bad influence on you so you could become the person that you are today - charming, intelligent, responsible, pious and beautiful; someone I am so proud to call my friend. I know your insecurities kick in from time to time and you wouldn't want to believe me but I want to let you know E, that for me, you're the most beautiful person alive on earth and you'd forever be!

Know that I'm not saying it because I feel obliged to do so. I'm only saying it because I really really want to. I really want to let you know how much you mean to me. If only I had a brother, you and I both know you would have signed your nikkah contract by now. I would have obviously played the match-maker, set you both up, brought you home officially, planned lengthy sleepovers (after kicking my brother out), had a truckload of fun, waited for your kids to be born and then spoilt them rotten; been the best aunt there can ever be.