Sleeping with the enemy

19

"Are you ok ?" Hashiramas concerned voice woken me up. I looked around the room and was in his office laying on the couch. Covered in a blanket. Hashirama sitting on the floor beside me.

"What happened " I asked putting my hand up to my head as though that was going to stop the pounding.

"You passed out. There's a blizzard on those mountains y/n. What do you think your doing ?" He scolded

"I didn't want to be there anymore." I said quietly.

"What did he do ?"he asked concerned

"It doesn't matter." I sat up preparing myself to stand up and head to my room.

"It does matters. What did he do to you?" Hashirama stood up in front of me blocking the space I had to stand so I can remain seated.

"Ever since I've been here hashirama you've acted as though I never meant anything to you. Please do not approach me with none of that bull shit right now. I want .. no I need to be alone."

he reached out his hands and cupped both of my cheeks. looking at me softly with a pained expression forcing me to look at him. "I wanted to respect your marriage. my brother." his thumbs gently rubbing my cheeks. "You know how I feel about you y/n. Thats something I can never change."

I reached up to remove his hands from my face but as i touched the his warm strong hands i froze.

I remembered when they held me.. when they pulled me into his embrace.. When they tended to my wounds from the years of our clan battling each other. When they held my own.

tears filled my eyes. This man at one point in my life was everything I've ever wanted. needed. I feel like life cheated me out of being truly happy as it separated hashirama and I and forced me to marry Tobirama.

"It's been hard for me too." he lowered his head. "I wanted to be the one you gave yourself to. who you wake up to and cuddle with at night."

"I think its best if I go." I got up to walk away but hashirama grabbed me from behind and hugged me. placing his head at the nape of my neck.

"please don't go yet" he whispered. tears falling out of his eyes and onto my neck.

"We're both married now Hashirama. Last thing I want to do is have another forbidden relationship with you again. Its clear we're not meant for each other."

"Your right..but..." he trailed off. I turned my head to look over to him and he stared into my eyes hungrily. basically begging for me to lose control and we sin together.

My heart started to race and my breathing became rapid.

"I still have this effect on you?" he teased hugging me tighter.

"why are you doing this" i cried

"I don't want to hurt you y/n. Or my brother.. I love you both." he stated.. "i missed holding you"

"hashirama.." i whispered. I wanted him to let me go.. But I knew i was lying to myself. I wanted him to hold me tighter.

I know this is wrong.

"What did Tobirama do to you?" he asked still hugging me from behind.

"I saw him kiss the Yamanaka. They've been seeing each other this whole time."

"The florist?" he said confused " and you got upset.."

I turned my head to face him . he looked a bit sad.

"Your falling for Tobirama.." I dont know if he was asking me or telling me . But i didnt know what to say or if there were any words to say.

He held me even tighter. Sobbing to himself silently i laid my hands over his for comfort.

"I guess I have no right to be this upset." He said to himself

Where was this when I needed you. Where was this as you planned your wedding behind my back.

"No you don't." I said plainly. "I care for you yes but my hearts moved on from you"

"You put up a good act. But you forget I know you better than anyone else." He hummed in my ear "you can't lie to me."

"I'm not who I was back then hashirama. You don't know the woman I become." I told him.

"Look me in the eye and tell me your not in love with me anymore."

"I'm not." I hissed

"I said look me in the eye and tell me." He growled.

I looked him in the eye and opened my mouth. But words didn't form

"Your silence speaks loud and clear." He whispered in my ear. "Now tell me you don't want me to kiss you."

He pecked at my cheek softly with his soft lips. Small trails slowly making its way to my mouth. "As wrong as it is" he continued with his torment. "You want me to kiss you as badly as I do."

Please hashirama.. don't do this to me. Don't tempt me.