Spiderson Irondad Oneshots

Beans and Toast

It was the fourth time in four days it had happened. The alarms blaring through the compound and the Avengers, excluding Vision, who didn't understand the fuss, were stood outside, barely dressed and covered in water from the sprinkler system. It had become routine

"Peter!" Tony shouted, marching over to him, "This is a state of the art facility and you were trying to make toast! How did you fuck up so badly? Again?!"

Peters neck seemed to shrink, like a turtle hiding within it's shell, as a sheepish grin spread across his face, a shaky giggle slipping out. He just shrugged in response to the question.

Tony sighed,  dragging his hand down his face in exasperation. "Look, I am terrible at cooking, like, baked beans is the extent of my ability, but if I teach you how to cook, do you think maybe you can try not burn down my billion dollar property?"

Immediately Peter perked up. 'Mr Stark is going to teach me to cook!' "Yes!" He awkwardly gave Tony a hug then practically danced back into the compound, smiling ear to ear.

The other Avengers just grumbled as they all shuffled back to their rooms.

"Do you think you can actually teach him?" Happy asked Tony.

Staring blankly at the compound Tony just sighed, "Not a clue."
~~~~~
He woke up late the next morning, a privilege he was not used to from the ritual smoke alarms every morning. Slowly he got dressed and made his way to the kitchen.

He then promptly had a heart attack as Peter dropped from ceiling above him, landing on his shoulders. It didn't last long as Tony stumbled from the shock, clutching his chest, his heart rate rising as they both fell to the floor.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, Mr Stark" Peter said hastily, standing then helping Tony to his feet, "I'm just very excited"

Tony took a while to respond, just staring at Peter trying to wrap his head around what he was wearing. It was an apron displaying the message "I won't just eat my husband". Needless to say, Tony was very disturbed.

Rubbing at his temple Tony had but one word to say: "What?"

"I'm excited!" Peter said, jumping up and down, "Cooking!"

"Right! Yes!" Tony said, "just quickly, kid how long were you on the ceiling, and also what's with the apron?"

Pursing his lips, Peter thought over whether on not to answer the first question truthfully. Strange had walked in like six times in the time Peter had been up there and looked more dissapointed each time. He decided to skip the question entirely.

"I thought it'd be cool, yknow, like our thing- I got you one too" He tossed over a still folded apron with a drawing of the Iron Man suit reading 'I am Iron Chef'.

Begrudgingly, he put on the apron. This then led to begrudgingly finding a recipe book and begrudgingly letting Peter grab all the ingredients.

Finally they had their arsenal. Flour, baking powder, salt, egg, milk, and a heck ton of sugar. They were making pikelets.

Or, that was the plan. Half of the mix was turned into pikelets while Peter ate the other half straight from the mixing bowl, which then Tony told him off for "you could get salmonella" before preceding to do the same thing himself.

All in all, their cooking experience that day was a disaster. However it was fun, which meant it happened again the next day, although Peter didn't almost give Tony a heart attack, and then the next. Finally they decided it was time to take a step up from pitiful breakfasts and make dinner. Lunch was unnecessary to our father-son cooking duo.

It took them almost an hour but finally they served what was the peak of their existence. A great big plate of beans and toast, it didn't matter to them that the sprinkler system was still going off, because goddammit they did it.

Didn't really know how to end this. Anyway here you go.