Not A Chance

Chapter 4 - Build God Then We'll Talk

"Weasel!" Wade tried to get his friend's attention as he waddled in. Yeah he'd managed to escape Spidey's trap after White convinced him that none of that had been an invitation to hook up, but he was still wrapped in his webs.

The mercenary took a seat. "You're not gonna believe what just happened!"

"You met Spider-Man?" Replied Weasel, sounding almost bored.

"Yeah- how did you know?"

"Intuition." He gestured the webs around Wade's body.

Deadpool looked down at them. "Oh. Right." He cleared his throat. "...well, this is embarrassing."

"How did you manage to cause enough trouble for Spider-Man to show up, man?" Weasel looked at his friend with a small frown, showing genuine interest but also confusion. Wade wasn't one to get superheroes' attention in any way, shape or form.

"I didn't even do anything. I mean, I was going to but he appeared out of nowhere." Wade shrugged. "I was about to finish off Richards when Spidey caught me."

"Spider-Man caught you trying to kill somebody?" Weasel shook his head disapprovingly, Wade would've thought he was being serious had it not been for that faint smirk on his face.

"You think it's funny? This wasn't supposed to happen this way!"

"What?"

"This!" Wade pouted slightly. "We were supposed to meet at a coffee shop after I 'accidentally' ran into him. He'd drop his books, I'd help him pick them up, then he'd fall in love with me and we would dance under the moonlight."

"As if anyone could actually fall in love with us."

"We can dance?"

"You and Spider-Man?" Weasel laughed. "Yeah, right!"

"A man can dream." Wade put his left foot up on the bar, showing Weasel a dagger he had strapped to his leg. "Would you give me a hand?"

"Sure." He sighed and grabbed the knife, then began cutting the webs (or at least tried to, they were surprisingly resistant). "Anyway, about Richards..."

"Don't worry I'll get him." Soon enough Wade was free from restraints. He let the webbing fall to his feet as Weasel returned the weapon to him. "I know the fucker's full schedule. Fridays and Saturdays is golf club. Sundays church. And the rest of the week, he gets on his knees and not necessarily to pray."

Weasel gasped, his expression mirrored the one of a woman who'd just heard the juiciest gossip. "Isn't he married though?"

"You think he cares?"

"Who is he?"

"His assistant."

"Very original."

"I know." Wade was fidgeting with his knife, his attention no longer on Weasel. "Anyway, he's meeting some important people on Tuesday. And I know exactly where they'll be."

"Where?"

Deadpool smirked. "Queens."

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