Not A Chance

Chapter 14 - Contagious

After patrolling for at least two hours Spider-Man and Deadpool were now sitting on a rooftop. Deadpool was eating a churro he'd gotten for a dollar whilst Spidey scanned the street in search for more work to do.

"What's up with you today webs?" Wade finally asked.

"What do you mean?" Spider-Man said, not taking his eyes off the many civilians below.

"Well I don't mean to be rude but you look like garbage."

"Good to know you didn't want to be rude."

Spider-Man sighed. "I'm sick."

"Hell yeah you are." Deadpool agreed, taking another bite from his churro.

"No Wade. I'm actually sick." Spider-Man clarified before crossing his arms over his chest and sniffling.

Wade frowned slightly. "Why're you out here then?"

"We had to go on patrol." Spider-Man replied.

"Aw he thought going on patrol with us was more important!" Yellow exclaimed cheerfully.

"Also Juggernaut." The hero added with another sniffle.

"You were saying?"

Wade wrapped an arm around Spidey's shoulders, totally expecting him to push him away but was surprised when he didn't. "I know you're a big boy and can handle this but maybe we should call it a night."

The other man shook his head. "No, no. It's too early." He felt Spider-Man's body relax against his and before he knew it, the hero's head was resting on his shoulder. "I'll just close my eyes...for a minute..." He mumbled.

"Is this really happening?"

"He must be really sick."

"Uh webs?" Wade asked, only getting a groan in return. He felt a warm sensation travel through his entire body when minutes later he realized the spider had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

He looked so peaceful and calm...for once not yelling at Wade nor saying anything offensive, that was probably his favorite part of it all.

He was like a little angel.

A spider angel.

In very tight spandex.

"I have an idea."

———

Wade inhaled the delicious and artificial smell of instant ramen noodles as they boiled. He would've cooked some actual food had he not completely forgotten grocery shopping was a thing.

"I honestly don't think this was a good idea." Said the always so positive White.

"Are you kidding? He will love us after this."

"We basically kidnapped him."

"No we didn't, we've done worse than that anyway."

"I think he's going to be pissed."

"He's always mad at us anyway so who cares?" Wade added. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the noodles thoughtfully. What he said was true, Spider-Man was almost always mad at him no matter what he did. He was well aware that he wasn't good at being...well good but he tried, he really tried to be what he wanted him to. But he was Deadpool, he was no superhero. And no matter how hard he tried he'd never be one.