Not A Chance

Chapter 26 - Unsteady

Another horrified scream escaped the man's lips, muffled by the gag Deadpool had put in his mouth, as the mercenary cut down one side of the man's right arm with his pocket knife. The blood slowly accumulating in the victim's mouth made him cough and choke for a moment before he swallowed and was finally able to breathe properly again. Wade held a hand to his ear and leaned in closer to the man's face. "What was that? Sorry I can't hear you over the sound of you choking in your own blood!"

He started playing with the knife, letting his gloves brush the blade to clean off some of the blood. He'd later sanitize it, right now it didn't matter. "Sorry about the gag, but come on don't lie to me, I know this isn't your first time."

The man squirmed in another failed attempt to escape his restraints. Wade didn't even look at him, he was too busy admiring his weapon to notice, besides he knew that he wouldn't be able to break free anyway. He was chained to a chair in his own apartment with no one else around other than the mercenary. He was doomed. "What was that again?" He placed a hand on his chest, his head snapped in his victim's direction. "My oh my, Randy dear. That sounded like a confession!"

"Just unalive him already, I'm bored with him."

"Agreed."

"Yeah, we should go home and fap."

"Forget it, unalive me instead."

"I'm hungry though." Deadpool took out both of his katanas, ready to end this mission. "So maybe we could go get some food after this."

"And then fap?"

"And then fap." He couldn't help but chuckle at his victim's confused yet terrified expression. Confused because Wade was talking to himself and terrified because...Wade was talking to himself.

Oh, and also, the katanas.

"I'm thinking McDonald's."

"I want mexican."

"Oh yeah, I'm craving enchiladas."

"Queen's Taquitos?"

"You know how Wade feels about that place."

"It's fine." He shrugged, he didn't mind going to Queen's Taquitos, even when it was kind of his and Spidey's go to restaurant. The wound was still fresh and walking in all by himself whilst being surrounded by everything that reminded him of the spider would be a bit of a challenge. But he had to get over it, besides, they had the best enchiladas in the city.

Randy started screaming, or at least trying to, as he watched Wade approach him with both katanas in his hands, ready to finish him once and for all. "Oh-em-gee! No need to be dramatic, you're just dying." He smiled. "Happens to me all the time, trust me, it's no big deal."

The man closed both eyes upon feeling the sharp blades against his throat. "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll find all your body parts...eventually..." He swung his arm, ready to strike, a smirk worked it's way across his face. "Hopefully."

———

Wade slammed both fists on the counter, making Weasel jump and turn around. "Next!"

Weasel sighed, placing a hand on his chest and rolling his eyes. "Man, you scared me."

"And I have the mask on." He said before taking it off and setting it aside, exposing his scarred face. "Boo, bitch." He pulled out one of his guns and snatched the cloth Weasel was holding out of his hands to clean the weapon that still had blood stains all over it, just like his suit. "The pervert has been taken care of. I need another name, daddy's feeling dangerous."