The Notes We Write

5.

The last week had gone by so quickly. I felt like I hadn't done anything. I haven't mentally prepared myself yet, I can't go to school now.

I'll fill you up with what happened this week. I finished and brought back the book to the sandwich shop. Sadly, the note guy wasn't there. I spend some time with my sister and parents, I spend some time with the rest of the family. I explored Ottawa on my bike a couple of times, which was very fun. I had always enjoyed cycling.

I visited Parliament Hill for the first time. In all the years I've come here I had never actually visited it, and it just felt like I should. I must admit, it's really beautiful. I've always had a love for big old timey buildings, I think that's why I love Rome so much. I went there when I was fourteen with school, which was such a cool experience for me.

Anyway back to today, aka the most terrifying day of all. After my seventh alarm went off, I got out of my bed. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, making my way to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, and tried to make my hair look at least a little bit presentable. Which I eventually stopped trying to do, and just let it hang in my natural loose waves. I applied a little bit mascara to make my lashes more black. I was never big on the make up thing, so usually mascara is the only thing I wear.

I climbed back up the stairs again, to get dressed. I grabbed my phone from the charger, and opened Spotify. I played Wings by Little Mix, like I did every morning. It kind of had become a song that helped me get less insecure about myself and in a good mood.

I already decided what I was going to wear today, I'm a big planner so naturally I decided it a few days ago. I grabbed the a blue blouse I wanted to wear and pulled it over my head. The only thing missing was my favourite black denim dungarees, they were my absolute favourite because it is one of the few that fit perfectly. It stops exactly above my ankles, and it isn't too long like most of my jeans and dungarees are. It's like they don't make jeans for short people.

The problem was I couldn't find the dungarees anywhere. I started panicking a little bit, and started to searching through my closet wildly. I planned this before hand, how could it go wrong anyway? "Mum?" I yelled downstairs hoping Nova was already awake. "Do you know where my black dungarees are? You know, the denim ones?" I asked after she answered me.

"I put them on your desk honey, I know that you wanted to wear them today." I looked over at my desk and saw that they were indeed on there, folded neatly. "Thanks Mum!" I said shaking my head. I always become very stressed and on edge when I'm nervous, I couldn't even see the very obvious piece of clothing laying on my desk.

I put the books I would be needing today in my bag. In the email school had sent me they told me that I had to pick up my schedule and my locker key at the front desk. They also said that the first lesson today would be a back to school introduction lesson. We would meet our mentor, the one who would be helping us this year and with whom we could discuss any issues with, this lesson.

I went downstairs to the kitchen, and made myself a bowl of cereal. I honestly loved cereal so much, at any time of the day not only at breakfast. With or without milk, I don't mind at all.

I pulled a piece of paper of my post-it block, and wrote; "it's going to be a bad day". Then I tore it apart and threw it away, making the message untrue. I always did this when I was nervous, insecure or scared about something. It was my way to calm myself down.

I kissed Mum, Dad and Nova goodbye. Mum would leave soon as well, she is a teacher at the elementary school nearby. She had been going to work for a couple of days now. Dad would bring Nova to school. He himself is a guard at uncle Ben's store, where he usually gets the evening shift. Which means he has to work from four till ten. When he has the day shift Mum would bring Nova to school before she went to work, and grandma would pick her up.

I decided to cycle to school, so I grabbed my bike from the garage and set my bag in the basket. I put my earphones in and went on my way. Silently lip syncing to the music playing.

It took me fifteen minutes to arrive at school. I saw that there were lots of people already, all standing in their little groups. The first bell would ring in ten minutes so I made my way to the front desk. Which actually had a line in front of it, what meant I had to wait a while.

When it was finally the last person's in front of me turn, the first bell rang. I got a little nervous and started to tap my foot lightly on the ground, hoping they would hurry up. I didn't want to come late, and walk in when everybody got their seats already. I would be the centre of attention, which I've never liked.

"Hi! How can I help you?" The nice-looking lady ask when I stepped forward. "Hi, uh, I'm new and they told me to come get my stuff here" "What's your name, love?" She asked scanning through a list. "Hailey Meyer" She made a understanding sound and turned around, looking for my things.

I looked around the hall and saw that everybody had left for their classes already. Not even a second later the second bell rang. I cussed in my head, feeling the panic rise but biting it down with a smile when the lady came back. "So here's your schedule, I'm sure you know how to read it. This is your locker key, try not to lose it, if you do report it here. I think that's it, oh you're first lesson is in the classroom at the end of this hallway." I put all of things she gave me in my bag.

The locker key said number 118, which I found easily. I quickly opened it and put my coat in, I was already late so a couple of minutes wouldn't matter.

I walked towards the classroom the lady had mentioned and knocked on the door. I slowly opened the door, and like I expected every head in the room turned my way. Because I got so nervous all of a sudden, I started stuttering to the teacher.

"Hi, uh, I mean hello. I'm new so, uh, they told me to go to the front desk first. Uh, yes. Thank you" That went very well, I thought when I speeded to the first available seat I saw. The teacher, an older nice looking man, still looked at me. His eyes scanned the list in front of him.

"You're Hailey Meyer?" I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The teacher, whose name I still didn't know, squinted his eyes at me. "Aren't you a Clarke girl?" I looked at him in surprise.

"I'm Liz's daughter." I said silently. "Ah! No wonder you looked so familiar to me, you look exactly like her. I've taught her as well you know? So she's back from Holland?" He was a nice enough guy, but he did talk very fast. I really had to try to keep up with him. "We moved here yeah" I answered him.

"Do you want to tell something about yourself to the class?" He asked me. It was the first time since I came in I actually looked around the classroom. I felt myself get really anxious, I didn't know what to tell about myself. I had always hated these kind of questions. My life isn't that interesting, honestly. I was considering every option in my head, before I heard someone speak up.

"She obviously doesn't want to tell us, so maybe we can just move on? I think we now enough about her. Her name is Hailey, she has just moved here, she probably around our age cause she's in our class, and I know for a fact she has a great taste in books. That's more than I know about most of the people here." The guy in the seat next to me said

The teacher nodded, and went along with his story. I didn't listen to him though. My eyes were stuck on the boy, the boy with the big brown eyes, the sandwich shop boy. When he looked back at me, he smiled with his dimples popping on his cheeks and crinkles around his eyes. It was literally sunshine, he was literally sunshine.

I pulled a post-it from my pocket, saying; "thanks again, x H". I felt his eyes looking at me while writing, following my hand that put the note on his table. I saw him read it, and look back at me.

Then he grabbed a piece of paper of his own, and grabbed the pen from my table. I saw him writing a little message as well. He sticked the note on my table, and gave the pen back to me. "Wow you've given me two thank you notes, I feel honoured. x Casey."

You may think that such a note isn't that special but I always give notes to everyone in my life, they've never actually written back. This was the first time, I got a note. And for some reason it made me stupidly happy.

I tried to pay attention to the teacher (whose name is still unknown) again, but I kept looking at Casey. Casey, Casey, Casey. It sounded good in my head, it also was the only thing in my head that hour.