The Notes We Write

15.

It was December with Christmas right around the corner. Oh, boy have I been feeling jolly these past couple of weeks. If you knew me well you would know that I absolutely love Christmas, it's best time of year to me! Like what's not to love? You can shamelessly belt Christmas songs on the top of your lungs, drinking a cup of tea and watching Home Alone while your whole body is covered in the softest blankets, decorating your entire house with reds, greens, golds and silvers. Of course, that's exactly what I've been doing: decorating everyone's houses. I decorated our house first, Nova, Dad and Mum helping gladly, after that I moved on to other people's houses. Like I arrived at Christie's with a whole box full of tree ornaments, all kinds of shivers, and random reindeer related stuff I found in a box in our attic.

I actually know that it is indeed a bit crazy, but I just get really passionate about everything I like. Not excluding Christmas decorating.

I had been walking around with those same butterflies for a couple of weeks now. I expected it to be very different between Casey and I, but it wasn't at all. I actually feel like we grew closer. The only thing that has changed really is that I get all hot when he touches me or when he says nice things. I always die a little bit inside whenever he hugs me, he really does give the best hugs.

I also haven't build up the courage to tell him what I have been feeling yet. I'm just not sure if he feels the same, and I think that the transition from a friendly relationship to a love one can be straining on a relationship. Which is something I really don't want to happen.

I did tell Sophie though, that same day actually. As the overdramatic person she is, she of course freaked out.

I actually just got back from my last school day before the Christmas break, unlocking the door feeling very excited to make some hot cocoa for myself. What I didn't expect though, is seeing Sophie and her parents sitting on my couch. My couch, here in Ottawa, in Canada! I actually couldn't believe it, I was completely shocked my keys still in my hand. Sophie stood up from her spot and walked to me when she saw me too.

"he-" I dropped my bag and keys to the ground and jumped in to her arms before she could finish her sentence, you know Rom-Com style. Different to those movies though, is that she didn't exactly catch me. No, she fell backwards, onto the ground. In that moment I was so happy I didn't even mind. I pulled both of us of the ground and gave her a proper hug. "Oh my god, I missed you so much" She chuckled squeezing me tighter, ''I missed you so much too"

I released her to look at her face, I hadn't really seen it in a while. It wasn't that she looked different or anything, but it just felt so weird having her here again. "What are you doing here?" I smiled. "We're coming to spend the holidays here with you!'' She squealed excitedly. "We're staying here till after New Years!''

"Really?" "Really!'' The biggest smile covered my face while I engulfed her in another hug.

After both me and Sophie calmed down a little, not completely of course because I was so damn excited, I greeted her mum and dad and chatted with them for a while. They also brought their labrador Luna, who wagged her tail excitedly when I came to her bed to cuddle with her for a while. Luna had always been very keen on me, as I was keen on her. Back home, in The Netherlands, Sophie and I often took her on walks through the forest or on the beach. Which all of us always enjoyed very much.

Then I made that cocoa I was craving all day, and because I am so nice I made some for the rest too. Nova seemed to enjoy the visit of our friends even more than me, it didn't take long before she was clinging on to Sophie. I swear it was as if those two were attached at the hip.

"Gosh, you would almost think that Nova is your best friend" I said in a joking manner, in fact I was not bothered at all. I loved seeing Nova interact with my friends. Like if Nova didnt like you I would've seriously start questioning our friendship. ''Well she obviously is'' Sophie answered with a wink.

Not long after it was dinner time, all seven of us were gathered around the table. dad had made some pasta, nothing to extravagant but to me it was perfect. It felt so cozy and familiar. Conversations and laughs were shared on every end of that table. We were sat there for hours, food long gone. Until Nova started to get tired and mum went to tuck her into bed.

Sophie would be staying in my room and her parents in our guestroom. It was weird because back in The Netherlands we didn't even have a guestroom, our house was way smaller there. Which is probably why it took me a while to get used to this big house.

We made our way to my room and almost dived onto the bed. Sophie was proper tired because of the jetlag she got from the ten hour flight. ''So", she yawned. "Because of all the commotion downstairs, I haven't got the chance to ask you about you and Casey!''

I'm not gonna lie, it was still weird for me to talk about these feelings. After I had talked to Christie, I hadn't spoken much to anyone about it. Christie or Sophie would mention it sometimes, but that was really it.

"I don't know what to tell you" I laughed. "Nothing has really changed.'' A frown came upon her face. "I still think you should just tell him. Come on, it's 2019 we women don't wait for men to make the first move!'' She elbowed my side, making me laugh.

"I don't know. It is just hard, you know? It's the first time I have ever felt this way about a person, and I really don't know what to do with myself at this moment.'' I confessed to her in a serious tone.

She nodded understandingly. "I get that, but I just want you to know one thing. You should always listen to what your heart tells you. Except if it tells you to climb on stage to hug Harry Styles, then I should maybe not.'' She joked.

''But seriously, I agree love is a very scary thing, but it is also the most amazing thing in the world. So although it might be hard, it'll be worth it in the end. I promise you that."

"Thank you" I said being sincerely touched by what she said. She touched my arm for a second before letting herself fall backwards, her head hitting the pillow. I layed down as well and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"I'm tiredddd" Sophie dragged out, pullng the covers up to her chin. We were both quiet for a moment when my phone went of, signalling a new text. I grabbed the device from my bedside table and turned it on.

"Sorry I didn't text you earlier I had a busy day at work, but I just wanted to tell you goodnight :)" Casey had texted me.

I smiled opening up his chat. "Goodnight xx" I texted him back. Immediately the typing symbol appeared on the screen.

"Talk to you tomorrow?" He had sent back. I quickly agreed and told him goodnight again before putting my phone away again.

I laid back down and came eye to eye with my best friend, who I may or may not had forgotten was here. "Was that your boyfriend?" she asked in a sing-songy voice.

I felt my cheeks heat up, ''My boy friend, with a space between the words."

"A boy friend with whom you're in love with, and who makes you blush by even mentioning him." She chuckled, mocking me a little.

"Right" I said trying to hide my face under the covers. Sophie reached over and turned of the lights. "Goodnight, Hails." "Goodnight, Soph."

She turned around, and what felt like two seconds later I heard her breathing slow down and little snores came from her mouth.

Sadly I wasn't able to fall asleep that quickly, in that moment I envied Sophie a little. All I could think about is how much I wanted her to meet the friends I had made here, and I couldn't wait to show her all of Ottawa.

And maybe, just maybe I was thinking about a curly headed boy a little bit. Just a little bit.