acquaintances || nomin [C]

Fear

NA JAEMIN P. O. V.

I was hurt.

I didn't knew Jeno was able to be this rude. I've always thought he was just a angle on earth.

How could someone so unique, someone so kind and smart be this cruel?

But just why did he kiss back?

He seemed like he enjoyed it, or did I hallucinate?

What am I supposed to do now?

He hates me but I love him. And I just can't stop loving him.

I wish I avoided him from the beginning because this was more than just hurtful.

But I can't help but just grow more and more feelings for him.

And what if he's like that from now on? Will he ignore me? Or bully me maybe? Or even tell everyone else I'm homosexual?

I wouldn't care as long as he's near me.

I'll at least try to be friends with him again... well not that we had THAT big of a friendship or something.

But what made him hate me that much?

Am I rude? Am I somehow disgusting? Or is it because I'm gay?

If so why'd he kiss back anyway?

Ugh I'm just so confused.... I was thinking while quietly sobbing in my room under my blankets.

I didn't knew what to do anymore. I was lost and hurt.

Left in the dust.

In the next morning I'd wake up again before my alarm could ring.

I was already in the shower and when I came out and looked in the mirror I saw how deep the dark circles under my eyes had become.

I didn't panic neither did I care but I covered it with some make-up.

All this stress with Jeno made me sleep and eat less.

I didn't even know myself why I've fallen in love with such a jerk.

Well he wasn't a jerk a few days ago...

I went to school as usual. It's like my legs moved by themselves.

As I arrived Jeno was already there sitting on his desk, writing something down.

I walked up to him and sat on my place without a word.

I felt his gaze on me so I turned my head in his direction.