Paramore Conspiracy Theories (Book 2)

A/N: A Story From Work

Hi

I'm so sorry this isn't a real post, but this will kind of explain why I have been slow with updates. So I started a new job a while ago. Not gonna say what it is, and so far I'm completely fine and I think I'm doing good. That's not what this is about.

So me personally, I believe I can tell when I'm not liked, when people don't want me around, you know? Like I can feel when people hate me. And so far at this job, it feels a lot like no one I work with likes me. One guy was nice to me until he started hitting on me and I explained I'm gay and mysteriously he no longer talks to me, coincidence right? 

But I got to this job and from day one its felt like I was intruding, like all the workers there knew each other and were friends and I was the annoying new girl. I know, I know, you probably think "this is all in your head", and I thought that at first too, but truly I do believe after 3 weeks that they just don't like me and have no interest in ever liking me. Everyone is friendly and jokes and when I try to joke it gets completely silent, when I say hi to people they ignore me. 

To be honest, I am pretty snarky, I'll admit that, I normally stand up for myself, but for some reason in this situation these people intimidate me, I don't know why but they do. So when it comes to defending myself at all I just pretty much fold and crumble and get quiet. I hate myself so much for it because I know I'm not normally like that. To be clear I'm not talking about being rude to customers, I would never do that ever, but when people I work with are rude to me I normally would be rude back but for some reason they intimidate me and I say nothing. 

An example I'll give of me being intimidated, and I want opinions on this: I missed getting my check on payday, so I went in a few days later to get it, and I was prepared to explain myself completey and why I didn't get it when I was supposed to and how I was told by a supervisor that me picking it up now was completely fine. So I get there and go to a different supervisor than the one I talked to and say I'm there for my check, but before I can get my explanation out this person and the other people around are laughing in my face about how I came in to get my check on the wrong day. Any slight shred of confidence I had is now gone. So I don't explain the whole thing to them, I don't get my check, and I should talk to someone at work about it, but I am now terrified I will get laughed at again. 

To be honest I don't know what to do. I want my check, at the same time these people and the thought of all of them laughing at me terrifies me so much I wanna keep quiet. I can usually hold my own, am usually pretty confident, but for some reason I just can't with these people, they just intimidate me to no end. 

So there's a fun update on my life (sarcasm). I really don't know what to do.