Ghost Of You *SLOW UPDATES*

Chapter 13

Ninth competition.

Second-last opportunity before we are chosen to either stay on next year or forced to go home.

I don't want to go home so I pour my heart on to the paper in my notebook, as song after song form endlessly on the pages.

The ninth competition is supposed to be us doing creating a song for our mentor so I focus on the song before me whilst Luke, Mikey, Calum and Ashton muck about in their practice space back at their place.

Instead, I'm sitting at the island bench in their kitchen in order to focus from the ever distracting band. I hum out a quiet tune in my head that has been stuck there forever, but I can never bring myself to put lyrics to it. It's a melody that means a lot to me because my father used to sing to me, but he too never had words for it.

More words pour on to the once empty pages like a spout releasing a stream of water, and soon enough I've written three new songs. I smile triumphantly and close the notebook before walking towards the crash of cymbals and the guitar soloing of the manic band that is 5 Seconds of Summer.

I walk in as they finish the chorus of Youngblood and reach the bridge which Luke pours his soul into. I find myself throwing my book down on the tattered couch and dancing about wildly causing the boys to chuckle slightly whilst they continue on with the song.

I pretend to fake fangirl and yell out, "Let's play titanic Luke!"

His eyes go wide and a blush becomes prominent on his cheeks as Michael begins to curl over in laughter and the song falls apart as Calum and Ashton also begin to laugh wickedly. I also find myself laughing slightly as Luke puts his hands on his hips sassily and says, "You'd like that wouldn't you? How about I play the iceberg and you go down."

I shriek in surprise and laugh wildly, a blush forming on my cheeks as the other guys practically fall to the ground in laughter. Mikey pushes his guitar strap from off his shoulder and lays his guitar on the ground next to him as he rolls around crazily, tears forming in his eyes as he continues to chuckle, Calum also following suit and removing his bass. Ashton just sits at his drum, leaning over and resting his arms on his knees as he continues to laugh whilst I lay on my back on the floor and look up at the roof and try to control my giggling.

"Are you quite done yet?" Luke chuckles as he takes his guitar off of his shoulder and places it on his stand before walking over to where I lay, staring down at me with a cheeky smile.

I wink at him and say, "Don't know."

"Well save your dirty mouth for another time. You have a song to write for us." He replies as he lays down next to me and stares at me whilst I stare back at him.

He smiles sweetly as I find myself smiling in reply, his blue eyes glimmering brightly as the afternoon sun streams in through the high windows of the garage.

Mikey, Calum and Ashton eventually calm down a bit and join Luke and I as we all sit in a circle and I show them the three songs I've written for them, allowing them the option as to which one they want.

"I like the wallet one but I seem to also like the one about the watching it all falling down. What was that one?" Mikey says as he pouts the slightest and cocks his head to the side, re-reading my lyrics.

"Babylon." I prompt as he nods and passes the book to Luke who was desperately reaching out for it.

"But I like Talk Fast." Calum says with a pout of his own whilst Ashton nods in agreement and Luke reads through my notebook, clearly no longer reading the songs I've written for the boys.

"What are you doing Lucas?" I ask as I steal the notebook back from him and read the page he had decided to stop on.

"What about that one? That's... Beautiful." Luke says with a face of pure bliss and awe as I skim over the lyrics.

Here I am waking up
Still can't sleep on your side
There's your coffee cup
My lipstick stain fades with time
If I can dream long enough
You'd tell me I'd be just fine
I'll be just fine

I shake my head and say, "Not this one."

"Why not? It's clearly a great work of art and from what I've read, it's amazing and deserves to be shared." Luke rebuts as I close the book and stare at him and his puppy eyes.

"Because Luke. It's private." I reply with a stern expression as he leans over to me and whispers in my ear, "Please let me read it."

I shake my head once more and say, "I can't Luke."

Ashton, Calum and Michael look at us in confusion and I only release a sigh as I say, "It's called Ghost of You. And it is not for anyone else but myself."

"But at least share it with us." Luke says with a hopeful expression as he places a hand on the closed book and watches my reaction.

I have a deep internal debate about whether I should share this with him or not.

It's about him for Christ's sake.

I nod slightly and hand the book over as he quickly flicks through the pages and begins to read out the lyrics to the boys whilst I hum the tune to myself quietly.

So I drown it out like I always do
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you
And I chase it down
With a shot of truth
Dancing through our house
With the ghost of you

The song drags on and tears form in my eyes but don't let them fall. I've cried way to much lately and it's making me weak.

I can't be weak.

"Are these tear stains on the pages?" Mikey mutters as he turns to look at me through his clear-framed glasses.

I turn my head away and ignore his question as I feel a pair of arms snake around my waist and pull me into his embrace. His familiar cologne floods my senses as he says, "Thank you."

"For what Hemmings?" I question weakly as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck and mutters out, "I now know you felt the same way as me. It's just you could put our emotions into words. I'm officially claiming this as our song for the performance."

I huff out a laugh and say, "Sure Hemmings. I would like to see you try and perform this to an audience that is used to you four playing some pretty lit rock music."

"We don't even know how this one sounds yet. It could be heavy metal for all we know." Mikey chuckles as he reads the lyrics once more and shows certain things to Ashton and Calum who mutter instrumental ideas to one another.

I shake my head and say, "You have no idea Clifford. It's quite the opposite to heavy metal."

He feigns mock surprise as I smile and stand up out of Luke's embrace and retrieve his electric from the stand and begin to strum out the pattern I've played on repeat to try and fix my broken soul.

I then open up my mouth and let out my emotion as my heart shatters all over again.