"You left me alone. How can I forgive you for that?"
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Shayla Holmes has always felt music was a part of her identity. It's what kept her sane throughout her high-schooling life. So when she gets accepted into Scintilla Music Academy, she jumps...
So... Ashton FUCKING Irwin replied to my question on TUMBLR and it was deep and philosophical. So I attached my question and his reply so you can have a look. It also inspired this chapter so I hope you enjoy it!!
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Follow, vote, comment. Do whatever it is readers do. I'm not really sure anymore...
I lay down in the sand, it's grainy body like a pillow underneath me as Ashton lay next to me as well. For some unknown reason, I found myself walking down here as soon as we got back from Scintilla, Ashton hot on my heels as Luke said he had a meeting or something to attend to with Michael.
Calum and I caught up briefly after Luke, Ashton and Michael all left to go talk with Ustamu and Giles about the upcoming competition. I handed him the lyrics to a song I've been writing for Luke and all he did was smile at the words and mutter about how cheesy it was before he begun to play the bass tune he was playing earlier, my words flowing from his mouth like syrup as I sang along with him.
"How do you live Ashton?" I ask quietly, my brow furrowed as I stare up at the sky, the sound of the waves intoxicating as I breathe in its salty mist.
"What?" He asks groggily as though I just pulled him from a dream.
"How do you live? How do you find happiness and keep it?" I repeat as I turn my head to face him.
He seems to ponder over his answer for a while, staring up at the sky as though that will reveal all the answers in the world.
"You don't keep happiness," He replies startling me with the abruptness of his answer. "Remember this."
I nod slightly, the grains of sand mingling with my matching blonde locks as I rest my hands on my stomach before he continues with his surely philosophical answer.
"You will go through life feeling so many different emotions, all of the time. You learn to be content in the life you're living and maybe you'll learn to love it. This doesn't mean you will always be happy. This means you are human. A life without pain isn't a life at all. The fact you know what happiness is means you know what pain is, because without one we wouldn't know and be thankful for the other," He answer, my brow furrowing at his honest answer as tears prick at my eyes. "You live by being strong. You live for the little moments and you live because life is a short blessing you had an extremely minimal chance of experiencing. So make the most of it whilst you're here."
A delicate drop drips from my eye and hits the sand as I say, "I don't want to experience any more painful thing Ash. I've already had too much."
He looks over at me and his face visibly slackens at my fragile state as he reaches over to me and rests his hand on my broken arm as he gently caresses it in a comforting manner. I control the sobs trying to leave my mouth as they turn silent, the tears just rolling down my cheeks and hitting the sand like a drop of water into an ocean.
"You are one of the strongest people I know Shay. You have gone through so much already and I can't imagine you ever having to go through that much pain again, and I believe with my whole heart that you won't." He says as he smiles the slightest bit and I find myself calming the slightest bit, in contradiction to the waves that roll mercilessly near to us.
"Thanks Ash. For everything you have done this year." I say weakly as I close my eyes and embrace this moment with my whole heart, finally finding the walls inside my mind falling and vanishing slowly, brick by reinforced brick.
He sighs softly, and I hear the sand rustle underneath him as he moves in place before stopping again. My eyes flutter open as I see him sitting upright, staring out at the ocean in awe. His curly hair bounces around with the wind, a few strands blowing into his eyes, but he doesn't reach up to brush them from his face.
"Do you think I'm going to actually be able to perform Ashton? Do you think I'll actually stand a chance?" I ask meekly, the question escaping my lips before I could reel the words in and bury it.
He sighs audibly before muttering out, "I don't know. You can still perform with a cast and Luke said he was going to ask Ustamu if we can alter the competition to allow mentors the ability to assist their... Students sounds like the wrong word."
"That's not what I meant Ash." I reply as I sit up next to him, getting a bit of a dizzy head at the sudden movement.
"I know," He answers in turn. "But it all comes down to how desperately you want it. She meant nothing and regardless of what happens in the end, you will still have a room at our place. The boys and I, especially Luke, want you to stay and we know how hard you have worked to get to this stage in the competition, as do the judges, Ustamu and the other teachers."
"You didn't answer me." I say directly, turning my searching gaze towards him as his cheeky smile makes a new prominent appearance.
"You can perform. And I know you're too stubborn to let a stupid injury get in your way." He says with a quiet chuckle to which I contribute one of my own.
We sit in silence until the sunset begins to droop to the right side of the horizon, the damp evening dew soaking into the leather of my jacket. The day had not long surrendered to the night, yet I could still see the thick grey clouds that were cast over the sky in preparation for the evening's quiet sprinkling of rain, as was forecast. The sea was tainted a new shade; no longer an abyss of blue. Instead, it looked a metallic grey, glistening as the occasional spear of light from the disappearing sun pierced through the clouds and danced over the surface in delicate beams of pale light. The waves had calmed down and were simply bouncing in small bumps rather than the brush of salty spray we had witnessed in nights before.
I sigh in contempt as Ashton reaches his hand across the space between us and rests it on my shoulder, his piercing hazel gaze flicking my way as he says, "Don't doubt yourself hey? If I remember correctly, you gave us the exact same advice when we were a small band working out of a garage."
I turn to look at him and am met with a warm smile and gentle gaze as I thank him politely for his kind words whilst his grin only grows as he pulls his hand from my shoulder and rests it in the sand beside him.
"I figured out my setlist for the final competition." I say with a fitting smile as I keep my head turned his way.
"What songs?" He asks inquisitively as he raises an eyebrow like a mock detective trying to solve a case.
I lean in close to his face and cup my hands around his ear as a child would to a friend as if they were going to tell a super-secret secret but dupe him as I say, "I guess you'll have to find out Irwin."
He groans playfully as I pull away and laugh manically, falling back into the sand and finally feeling free of the wall that has crumbled away into little pieces the size of a single grain of sand.
