Sweetener

Everytime

I woke up regretting everything I did. I got out of Andrews bed, got myself dressed, and left quickly. I pressed my hand to my head. I dialed Brendons number. Tears wanted to pour out of my eyes. It rang twice, until he answered.

"Hello?" he asked groggily. It was eight in the morning. I covered my mouth and sobbed. "Patrick?"

"Brendon I'm so stupid" I cried "I need a ride I need help"

"What happened?" he asked worriedly.

"I fucking, I slept with Andrew" I said "I got into a fight with Pete, and I did the pettiest thing I possibly could"

"Fuck Patrick" he said "I'm on my way"
——
Brendon pulled up in front of Petes house.

"I'll wait here" he said gently. He convinced me to tell Pete everything. I nodded guiltily, and got out of the car. I walked up to the gate and buzzed it.

"Who is it?" Pete asked into the intercom. I covered my mouth so I didn't cry. I took a deep breath.

"Me" I said "Patrick" My voice cracked on my own name. "I need to talk to you" The gate opened. I slowly made my way to the front door as it opened. I walked up to him standing there in his sweatpants. I saw his eyes light up when he saw me.

"Who is it?" I heard from the couch. Pete stared at me.

"Who is that?" I asked. A man walked over to Pete. "Who the fuck is that!?" I yelled.

"My ex boyfriend" Pete mumbled. "Thomas"

"Are you fucking serious!?" I yelled. He stared at me guiltily "You fucking-!" I stopped. "You whore!"

"Don't call me that!" Pete yelled.

"I'm getting out of here before it gets ugly" Thomas said putting on a jacket. He walked by the two of us.

"You slept with him!?" I yelled "I thought you were in love with me!"

"I figured since you slept with Andrew I could sleep with Thomas!" he screamed. I shut my mouth. Check mate. Check fucking mate. "Yeah, that's what I thought" He said. I pressed my hand to my head and stared at the ground.

"You followed me" I whispered.

"Didn't have to. I already knew" he said. "I'm not fucking stupid" I felt a tear fall down my cheek. "Don't gimmie that bullshit!" he yelled "You were the one who didn't want a fucking relationship! Don't stand here and cry on my steps!"

"You think I really didn't want one!" I screamed "I'm a coward! I know that!" I wiped the tears from my eyes "I already know that!" I whimpered. It got quiet. Very quiet. "What now?" I whispered.

"I don't know" he said gently. "We both fucked up pretty badly didn't we?"

"Yeah" I said.

"Maybe you should go" He said.

"Pete-"

"I told you we're not over, I just need a day or two to think" he said. I nodded. "For what it's worth Patrick, I am in love with you. And honestly, hearing you admit you're in love with me too, might be the only thing that helps me consider even talking to you again" I gulped down my pride. He sighed and started to close the door. I slammed my hand on it before it shut.

"Okay" I said "I'm in love with you too" He stared at me. "I really am"

"Go" he whispered. I started down the steps again. "Hey" he said. I turned again, and he tossed me the sunglasses I so loved to steal from him. "I'm gonna need those back" he said gently shutting the door. I smiled at them, shoved them on my face, and made my way to Brendons car. I knew exactly why he gave them to me. He needed the excuse to come to me. Other than what we truly needed to talk about. That was a move I'd pull. The student becomes the teacher. I got into the passenger seat of Brendons car.

"Howd it go?" He asked.

"I think, we're gonna be okay" I said gently.

"Yeah?" He asked. I nodded.

"He slept with his ex too" I said gently "So I guess we're kind of even"

"Thats wild" he said "You both slept with your exes?"

"Mhm" I mumbled "We have the same problem, we go back to them every time"

"So break that this time" he said.

"Thats the goal" I said gently.

"Good" he started to pull away. I saw Pete leaning against the door now with a shirt on. He smiled a little as we pulled off, and disappeared back into his house. "I think you'll be okay too" Brendon said.

"I'm a really fucked up person Bren.  I wanted to hurt him just because he loved me" I said gently "I need help"

"I don't know about all that" he said "You were just mad because he pissed you off.  And you were scared because you didn't wanna be with someone who wasn't Andrew.  Everyone knows you're in love with Pete"

"I guess so" I whispered.  "I just hope he knows that"

"He does"