Glitches in My Code

Statues

I run my hand down the spine of the stone cat absentmindedly, wondering how the sculptors get such detail into their statues. It almost looks like the fur is actually moving- oh crap.

"Why do I always forget? I guess I'll just have to take it home, put it with the rest of them..." I mutter to myself, picking up the cat and carrying it in my arms to the owner of the shop, whispering to it to stay still and remain statue-like.

"It'll be over soon, don't worry. Once we get out of here, you can enjoy being alive, and I'll get that sticker off your paw, alright? Just stay still, would ya?" With an almost imperceptible twitch of its tail, it agrees, going back to almost the exact position it had been in as a statue, legs outstretched, tail erect. A living cat turned into a stretching statue directly in front of my eyes. The only difference between the statue and the cat's version of the statue is that the cat's eyes are closed, while the statue's eyes had been open. After I pay for the "statue" I take it to my car, placing it in the passenger's seat.

"You're good now, so you can do whatever you want, so long as you don't screw up my car or my driving. If I crash, we're both going down with the ship. I'm sorry I'm making you go through this. I didn't mean to... I already have plenty of once-statues at home, and I'm running out of money to take care of all of y'all... Sorry about the ranting, but I never asked to be able to do this, so I don't see why I can't complain about something I'm stuck with." I glance at the cat, which is now watching me with lamp-like eyes, glowing amber in the dim light.

"What're you looking at? I didn't mean to bring you to life! If I had to mean to bring ya to life to do it, I wouldn't have any once-statues, because I have only once meant to, and that was to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke, so it wouldn't have happened if the first time hadn't! Do you see what I mean?! Of course not, you're just a statue-cat... How would you be able to understand me, much less feel sympathy for me... I'm crazy if I think you'll have a conversation with me..."

"And why is that? Do tell, because I'm quite curious."