Meredith's Thoughts Volume 2

this mo[u]rning

This morning was so hard I just,
I just can't even explain anything.
All I wanted to do was hug him,
That's all I wanted.
But I couldn't.
And I love Katie, I love her so much I can't remember everything she said exactly but,
I love her.
I had put a note in his sweatshirt pocket, it was a poem thingy but at the last minute I took it out because I decided it wasn't a good idea. But I kind of wish I kept it in there, I don't know why. Now it's in my pocket and I don't know what to do with it.
I cried, a lot. I cried when he walked in and I cried when I came back and saw he put my sweatshirt on my chair.
I cried when Katie was talking about laying things down and she cane over and hugged me.
I cried when they went around the circle sharing something exciting coming up in everyone's lives and he said homecoming.
I cried when Katie was talking to me after.
I cried when zac was taking to me.
I cried when he walked right by and didn't even look at me.
I cried when I had to stand there right by him waiting for zac.
I cried when I was with Katie at the doors when he walked by.
And I'm crying now.
And I'll cry for so long.
I don't even know if he reads these and I guess I'll never know,
But suddenly I just don't want to mess around because I'm single,
I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to.
He did what was right at this point.
But I still love him more than I could've ever shown him.