Mentally Unstable || BTS [Completed]

<• Chapter 30 •>

Chapter 30: Jungkook's dilemma
*Kim Namjoon's POV*

I was afraid.

Afraid of actually carrying out this plan.

We were in the lunch room for breakfast, once our food was served everyone began talking about my idea of exposing Hanwoo.

The others seemed to agree, except Jungkook, he was unusually quiet.

Seokjin wasn't here ofcourse, he would probably come tomorrow for his session with Nurse Jusang.

I played with the band around my wrist, rereading my name, illness, patient number and medicine doses. There was a small cut behind this band on my wrist, blood hadn't leaked through yet.

I was observing such random things.

I was trying to distract myself from the conflict and crisis at hand.

While the others carried on debating and Jungkook acted a bit too pessimistic and Taehyung suggested stuff hesitantly, I found myself drowning deeper in my own thoughts.

As if it were a random selector in my mind, I thought of something profound and it hit right back home.

You can't forget someone you lost when you think about them and their return everyday.

My heart starts beating faster and I feel this unusual knot in my stomach when I remember who Seokjin is to me, when I realise he wasn't just a figment of my imagination.

I feel relieved and excited.

I tried focusing on that feeling, the feeling of a huge weight as if 10 rocks you had to carry for 10 kilometres, were just dropped.

This feeling was what I used to distract myself from the chaos sometimes, when it gets too overwhelming.

It feels like I'm not Kim Namjoon who's Mentally Unstable, it feels like I can be someone I never dreamt to be.

I smiled to myself, eating a spoon of my rice.

"Namjoon~" Hoseok whined.

"Mm?"

"We've been trying to get your attention for so long." Jimin pouted.

"Ah, are you thinking about Kim Seokjin??" The person beside me nudge me with their elbow.

At first I thought it was just one of the others, but when I finally looked up from my plate and to my left side I jumped a little realise Nurse Taeah was 2 inches away from me and I hadn't even noticed.

"Ahah, no...," I laughed awkwardly, "so what did you all decide?" I asked.

"We doin' it!" Nurse Jusang popped out from behind Taeah, she was leaning forward, almost in the table to make eyecontact as Taeah was in the middle.

I smiled, feeling useful as everyone decided to go along with the plan.

Nurse Taeah and Jusang got back up and went back to work, while the others busied themselves in random conversation.

This time, I was contemplating asking Jungkook what he was thinking.

Would he even answer?

I decided to talk to him alone, Hyung to dongsaeng, so he felt more comfortable opening up to me.

He's done it before, so I hope he confides to me again.

When we all dispersed, Jimin went to his recovery session and Hoseok went to his weekly checkup. Taehyung went to the Communication room with Taesob.

I'm not too sure where Jungkook was going, but I caught up to him anyways.

"Kook, wait up." I pulled on his arm.

"Hmm?" He hummed in response.

"We need to talk.."

He simply nodded his head and kept walking, so I just followed him assuming we were going somewhere private to discuss this.

It was an empty ward, and frankly I've never seen it even though I've been here for so long.

"You were saying?" He turned around, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed.

"You don't seem to agree with the plan, or at least you aren't sharing everything you're thinking of."

He didn't answer.

"You said something about the consequences...tell me Jungkookie-ah, if you don't how are we supposed to work around it?"

The boy let out a sigh.

"Hyung...if we go along with this, the police will investigate everyone involved, they'll know I'm fully recovered and chances are I'll be free," he mumbled.

A crease appeared between my brows, "Isn't that..a good thing boy?"

He looked up to make eye contact and his eyes were grey, grim.

That's when it hit me.

"Taehyung.." I whispered.

"You don't want to leave anymore because of Taehyung," I finished my sentence as I realised it.

He stood up properly, restless.

"Hyung it's most likely you and I will be free, we've recovered...Taehyung hasn't! He's no where close. He'll probably be here for god knows how long and I'll be out here again. Continuing life. Without him.."

He shook his head after saying that.

"I don't know, I really don't anymore what I want.."

I sighed, pulling the young into my embrace, my hand over his head.

"You've grown so much," I commented with a chuckle and he responded with one.

"Don't worry Kook, we'll find a way okay?" I said letting go of him.

He nodded with a little smile, wiping away his tear.

We parted ways after that, he walked down the ward and turned left. Honestly, I still don't know where the heck that leads or how to get back to my room.

I sighed, facing the direction we came from.

"Oh god save me." I said before walking off to find my way around this strange area.
_
A/N:
Everyday, this fan fiction gets worse, and everyday, people realise it does and stop reading. And everyday, I regret starting it more lmao