So, I know I haven't talked too too much about my actual "date" with her. Only mentioning going to see Thor: Ragnarök with her and that's about it. That and how funny it was to have her in the theater with me. But after the showing, we talked about school and college and such. I- I messed up. With the first date and this one. Because I lied. I lied about college. I lied about what I wanted or planned to do. And for that, perhaps that's why we haven't gotten back in touch.
Anyway. For records sake. With her I had the most in-depth and real conversation about Aliens, the supernatural, and life in general than I've had with anyone- ever. That was our first date. And there- I clarified I saw her as a friend (don't remember if I said I saw her as a sister or not). I should've made things more clear beforehand. Her parents were kinda pointing her toward the "impress him a lot" spectrum of date.
I was also super judgemental towards the movie CoCo that we talked about towards the end of our time together. I told her how I hate how Disney incorporates such dark and spiritual themes into kids movie. "They shouldn't be thinking or trying to understand those things" is something along the lines of what I said.
From her though, I gained a clarity about myself. And I dedicate from our last date- And from her kinda shallow taste in music (she doesn't know a lot); my potential futuristic post apocalyptic world and cinematic universe (I think it would be a saga by the end of it). I also attribute her and my time with her my current lifestyle- restless nights and quiet evenings gazing at the stars. And if I had a car, driving out past the city with and open sky and the stars and sky above me.
Thank you, tron girl. Sorry I wasn't more genuine... I'm going through a lot. And I wasn't just lying to you, I lied to others I could've been cool with. I was lying to myself. And I did wrong by you for seeing another girl when you couldn't get back in contact with me a month before your Prom. I know I said we're friends. And I only saw us as such. But I really did like you. And I really did want to be friends. I was looking for someone to help me with my load of shit. And I didn't push. And I didn't want to nag.
I'm sorry.
But this is for you.
YOU ARE READING
Compass (2018)
Casuale"Fate, is nothing other than the allowance, and passing, of your present circumstantial reality to dictate all potential future outcomes." - Me, myself and I.
