Sinful

4 days and counting

The next morning...Oh god, my head hurts so much. When I tried to sit on the bed and leaned on my hand I almost screamed in pain, where am I? And where are my clothes?. It was not like I was naked but I had a weird long shirt on, over my underwear. Like really what happened yesterday?
"You should be ashamed", Michael said coming into the room.

"Get out of my room Michael I'm not feeling well" was he for real going to make me feel even worse with one of his speeches?.

He laughed a little and said "look around darling, you are in MY room"
Oh sh&t he was right, I tried getting up again but he stopped me.

"Don't run away Diza, let's talk about your behaviour last night." He said caressing my cheek. This was so weird, god, for some reason he looked excited, like whatever I did yesterday made him proud.
I was about to come up with an excuse to get out of this but he interrupted me.

"Last night you were great, well if only you had been more careful then it would've been better but you are doing well" what was he talking about? The little I could remember was that I got really drunk and cut myself, and here he was telling me that I did well?... 

"You are finally showing your true self, what do you think caused your problems yesterday?, gluttony...,wrath."

Wait no,no,no what was he talking about?
"That's not true, and that's not how I am"

"Maybe not all the time, but deep down, you know there's this reckless Diza that wants to come out. You are just scared but yesterday you finally gave up" He was now getting closer and really looked like he had just received a gift.

"But mmm no, you are wrong it was not wrath or gluttony or whatever, that brought me to end up like this" he laughed as soon as I said that.

"Diza, you are human, humans sin. It's good for you to be owning up to it" Of course he was wrong, I mean I know the sins, you shall not lie, shall not steal, shall not kill, etc; but this? Getting drunk, I don't really think that's a sin.

"It wouldn't be, if you hadn't demanded the servant to bring you the alcohol, and not just that but you actually compelled him into doing it, and then you didn't stop drinking until there was no more room inside you to be filled with that sweet liquid that helped you forget for a second where you are. That's a little coward if you ask me but again, the important thing is that you are owning up to your humanity" he read my mind again, apparently he was back to doing it without my consent but right know I wouldn't argue about that.

"I admit it was wrong compelling him into something as stupid as bringing me all that alcohol, but I didn't mean to play with his mind or for me to end up like this, how did I even hurt myself yesterday?"

"You were supposedly trying blood magic" he said taking my hand in his, "but you are not ready for that Diza" he said mocking me.

"I'm bored of our stupid practices, moving things, getting them on fire or guessing where you left them. I am done with that." I said getting a little angry, I really was tired of doing hte same evryday.

"You are not angry just about that, you've already told that you are losing your mind in here"

What was he talking about?, what have I told him?

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday as you were crying in the bathroom you told me, that you can't do this anymore, you are scared and tired. I get it Diza but you also know that there's no way to stop it. The best thing you could do is to actually give in, to that madness inside you. You have it in you, I can feel it and yesterday you prove it." He said as he walked back and forth looking at me.

I was really confused, I was feeling allured to just forget about everyone and really continue like nothing matters, I felt the need to just let go of every moral I knew before and do as I may, anyways there won't be people to judge me anymore. But that's not right, humanity or not, that's not me and I'm going to prove it to Michael.

"I could,... I could just forget that rules ever existed, but if I do, then what would be left of me...?, I'll just be an empty shell, with no restrictions and no guide. I don't want that Michael"

"You are too pure, or at least you wish to be like that; but sooner or later I'll corrupt you, this place, the new world that waits for us, it's feeds on the good that's left in people", he said now sitting next to me and turning my face to his.

"That innocence you still carry, combined with the power you have, it's really seductive... it's calls for it to be possessed and destroyed, If not me, then this world is going to destroy you. But If you trust me I'll protect you." he said moving his hand down my neck and then back to my chin. When he touched me I always felt like I lost control, my mind became numb and I just wanted to do what he said, that was Michael. Tempting as the devil.

"I'll let it go, if we do something first. Before the world ends, and I have no real choice but to stay inside I want to see you also lose control Michael" I said taking his hand and looking him starght int he eyes. He tilted his head a little, intrigued by what I may propose him.

"And how would I lose control exactly dear Diza?"

"Come to a bar with me, let go of that supriority and composture for one night. You don't look that old, I bet we have almost the same age, so for one night I want you to forget about the image that you always keep" I leaned closer to whisper into his ear.

"Let me see what a normal and boring Michael would be, if you didn't know what you know and had no responsibilities"  He turned his face, like he was gonna kiss me and talked so close to my lips that if I moved we'll kiss.

"Do you promise to let go after that?"

"I promise to try, anyways why are you so keen on me losing it?"

"I love chaos, it's our natural state even if everyone denies it" He said now standing up.

"If you try to leave Diza, I will make you suffer and I'll make sure to make the eternity missable for you"

I gulped because I knew he was right, thankfully I hadn't even thought about leaving so it was fine.

"Okay, but you'll see that the one that's going to do your existence miserable is gonna be me"

"You already do little Diza, go change so we can eat" He said exiting the room.