Sinful

I'm sorry

I woke up confused to an empty bed, there was no sign of Michael, and his clothes were still on the floor, I sat up straight on the bed and contemplated the idea of looking for him or going back to sleep. I didn't have to meditate it for long, because Michael came into the room and looked surprised to see me awake, he turned instantly trying to run away from my gaze.

"Why are you up? what time is it?" I asked him a little confused as to why was he walking towards the bathroom and turning his back on me.

"I just needed to do something, I didn't want to wake you up. I'll be back in a second" he said, but I stood up from the bed and put a robe on, he was hiding something.

"Are you okay? it looks like you are trying to hide something" I said coming up behind him.

"I'm alright believe me" he said turning the slightest to look at me, and even if he tried, I could smell blood from any distance.

"What did you do?" I asked him turning him around, to reveal his clothes splattered with blood stains.

"Nothing, really-" I cut his excuse, as this was one of the few times that my visions helped me. I saw Michael, and Richard, and it wasn't hard to guess what happened.

"How dare you took the chance from me?!" I asked him mad, I know I should have been thanking him, but they stirred up in me some kind of madness, a long buried rage that was now resurfacing, and all because I had felt powerless. It wasn't like I wanted to take it out on Michael, but sometimes we lash out at the wrong people when the problem is inside us.

"I just- I didn't wanted you to face him, and I'm perfectly capable to defend what is mine!" Michael said.

"Well I'm not yours, not like that, I get to decide what to do and not you!" I shouted at him, he looked hurt when I said that I wasn't his, and we both knew that was a lie, but I was just so mad and stupid.

"You're not mine then, but I was looking out for you" he said with a cold tone, and now it was my time to get hurt.

"I would have liked it if you gave me the chance to kill Richard myself" I said still whining.

"Well! I won't defend you anymore, ever!" Michael said turning his back on me and slamming the bathroom door as he went inside.

He left me there, speechless, I knew I had been hard on him, and maybe now he felt abandoned and hurt, and it was all my fault. I had finally gotten what I wanted, to make people feel as angry at me as I was, and then allowing them to make me feel worse. It was a toxic thing to do, but whenever I was mad, I tried to push everyone to their limits so they would lash out at me.

I went back to bed defeated and heard the faint sound of the shower on, Michael had taken Richard's life, and I guess I just wanted him to ask me about it, or tell me, or allow me to kill him myself. But that's just how Michael was, no matter what, he always had to be on top, he always had to be the one admired, I sounded like an envious b*tch and I guess I was at that moment.

I tried going back to sleep, as I assumed that maybe I had two or three hours before having to actually wake up and greet the lovely people here again. At some point I recall Michael getting into the bed and laying as far from me as he could. Sometimes we both just acted like kids, but I knew that deep down Michael still needed much love and safety than I did.

He woke me up by shaking my arm, and told me it was time to have breakfast.

I got up and tried dressing up in one of those annoying dresses, but with the cut in my arm it was really hard to move, the fabric touching my skin was a lot of pain, Michael saw me and shook his head with resigned look.