Sinful

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I guess I should put a WARNING,  I'll mention miscarriage and I don't know if any if you feel uncomfortable with it, if any of you have gone through it I want you to know I am sorry for your loss and I hope you get better, please if there are many inaccuracies forgive me, I don't intend to offend anyone. After the -- row you can keep reading if you choose to skip that part.

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A sharp pain woke me up, I felt cramps and the pain was just increasing, I didn't want to wake Michael up so I ran to the bathroom. There I tightly gripped the sink as I took a deep breath in, the pain momentarily went away, but a wave of pain hit me again.

I was too focused on avoiding to make any noise that at first I didn't notice something dripping, but when the next wave of pain hit me I had to lean forward with my hands resting on my knees, and that's when I saw it, blood, crimson blood dripping down my center. My hands started shaking as I wondered what the hell was going on, a small cry left my mouth and I went to the toilet not knowing what else to do. For a moment I thought that maybe I was having my period but... it should have stopped at some point, and I had never experienced cramps like this before. I didn't know much, but Cordelia's threat came back to my mind, Michael would ever be able to fit, and blood would follow him everywhere.

I didn't know what was happening but I wanted it to stop, I don't know for how long I stayed there, sitting in the toilet, I felt broken, without a reason, tears ran down my face and I couldn't stop them. I thought the pain was finally gone, so I stood up and wiped, my gown was full of blood, as were my feet and hands, I furiously rubbed my tights with paper trying to make the stain go away, but it remained. I couldn't hold back the shout this time when some blood started falling again.

"Stop, stop ,stop" I repeated again and again as I sat back at the toilet.

"Diza... what's wrong?" Michael asked from the other side of the door, I could hear his agitation.

"Don't come in! I'm okay" 

"The hell you're okay, I've heard you moaning in pain for a while, and there's blood on the floor"

"Go away!" I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to explain this to him. nor I wanted him to see me like this.

"I'm sorry, but I won't listen to you" I quickly stood up from the toilet and got fully dressed into the shower.

"Oh my god, Diza are you okay?" Michael asked noticing the stained floor.

"Don't come here!" with my magic I cleaned all the blood there, and hugged my knees to my chest, holding back the pain for a while.

"Diza... what happened?" Michael kneeled beside me on the floor, trying to reach me but I pushed him away.

"I want to help you!" he shouted getting up and pulling at his hair.

"What's happening? Please, Diza, talk to me"

"Just go away" I was sobbing again, with my head hiding on my knees.

"I can't leave you like this, I won't!" he kneeled again, fighting the punches I threw at him, finally forcing my arms to stop and pulling  me close to him.

"Shhhh, shhh" he kept whispering as I cried in his chest.

"I think I lost it" I finally said under my breath, he pulled back a little

"What?" he tilted his head in confusion, deep down I think he knew what I was talking about, but he needed to directly hear it from me.

"I- I- think I was pregnant, I think I just lost our baby" I cried out turning away from him in shame, he was speechless and loudly gulped.