Orphanage AU: Lams

Chapter 27: Hood Off

You know Simon Spier's best friend Leah? There's a book about her. Leah on the Offbeat. It's so beautiful, I fangirled so much. There's Hamilton and Harry Potter references in there too. Like,, if you translate my soul into a book, that's it.

---Michael's POV---

Yes! The lunch bell rang. "Suddenly we're free to fly!" I rejoiced, the first good news of the day. I managed to go half a day without removing my hood. Half a day to go.

"C'mon Micha, lunch." Jeremy tugged my arm and I blushed, thankful for the shade of my hood and the red hue it cast on my face. "You-"

"Got it." Sometimes I wondered if Jeremy only kept me around for my MDR. I pulled one out of my backpack, remembering the Boyf Reinds that had been written there and blushing.

Jeremy was a bit higher on the hierarchy now after the SQUIP. A couple of handshakes and highfives with other dudes. A couple glances from chicks. I didn't think he ever noticed them, but I did. I always noticed when people looked at him.

I noticed how happy he was to be noticed. Did he realize I'd always been there? I always helped him out when he needed it. I always said good morning and good night and everything in between.

I wasn't jealous of the guys who gave him acknowledgement, who made him happy. I knew he was straight. I was just sad that I couldn't make him that happy.

If I could make him that happy, he'd be happy all the time, because I'd always be there. And Jeremy being happy is all I've ever wanted.

Actually, if we were a couple, that would be a bonus, but I'd rather him be happy with someone else than unhappy with me. And hell, he'd be unhappy with me. He loved Christine so much...

Him being happy was enough. That's why I didn't stop him from getting the SQUIP. Why I was excited for him. He wanted to be cooler, and I couldn't give that to him. The SQUIP could. That's why I tried to, and finally managed to stop the SQUIP: I could tell that it was hurting his psych, and I couldn't bear that. That's why I told him to sign up for the play: He'd get a shot at happiness with his crush. I couldn't give him that. The play might. Christine might.

Especially if the play was romance. I winced at the idea of Jeremy kissing someone, remembering Brooke and Chloe. My heart shattered and not all the pieces were back together yet from the times I saw those kisses. Not because he was kissing someone that wasn't me, which did hurt, but because he was kissing without feeling.

I could tell. I was his best friend, after all. I already knew I have no chance. I'd never be truly happy. But if Jere was happy, I'd be satisfied. And for Jere to be happy, he had to get with Christine.

"Hey bro, you good? Cuz you're eating like a high robot."

Shit. Jesus fucking Christ, stop thinking about Jeremy. "Holy shit dude, I like spaced out into another fucking dimension or something. What's I miss?" Not my best excuse.

Actually, I went through that same thought process every day. Jeremy has to get with Christine so he'll be happy, then you'll be happy. I repeated it like a mantra. Just usually I wasn't idiotic enough to fall into that hole when I was at school.

"Christine's telling me about musicals." Funny how I didn't detect any excitement in his voice. I knew him well enough to tell that he wasn't interested. But I knew he was interested in Christine... Maybe he didn't like musicals? I thought he did...

"He only knows Miranda." Christine informed me with a superior air. Then she dropped the superior expression and giggled. "It's ok, I'm playing with you, it's totally cool if you're into musicals at all, welcome to the club, and you're the guy who saved us all, right? Michael?" She spoke so fast.

Oh shit, she has to like Jeremy, not you! "Nah, it was Jeremy." I shook my head. "He gave you the MDR, right? I mean, that was hella great of him, to like give y'all that when he'd finally..." I didn't know how to finish that. Fuck.

Jeremy was probably cursing me for opening my mouth in front of his crush.

"MDR? Oh, Mountain Dew Red, yeah, I mean, you did some..." Christine replied uncertainly. She looked at me and then began talking quickly again. "Anyway, it's super cool to like, meet you and all, thanks both of you for like helping us out and stuff, is it weird that I can't look you in the eye when I say this? Like can you take off your hood or something, I feel like I'm staring at a dementor of something, I don't know, it just feels..."

God fucking dammit. Why did Jeremy have to have a crush on a girl that talked so damn much? For that matter, why did he have to have a crush on a girl? Wait, Michael, no, we are not going there right now.

"I'm gonna go get stoned in the bathroom, you two have a radical time." I took a sip of the MDR and dashed out of the cafeteria. At least Jeremy would get some alone time with his future girl.

---Jeremy's POV---

"He's not allowed to get stoned on school grounds." Christine sounded concerned.

I was more concerned. Why wouldn't he take his hood off? "Yeah, I'll go stop him. I'll check out some of those other musicals sometime." I hoped she'd take the hint. She didn't.

"Oh, yes! You totally should! I can't remember all of them right now, hold up, I'm just gonna look at my bio- it has all my musicals..."

"Sorry Christine, I gotta go!" I got up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and grabbing the MDR.

"But-!" She was frantically tapping her phone screen.

"Can't let Michael get high until after dinner." I really didn't need to another discussion with his parents about getting high at school.

"Michael?" I spotted a red sweatshirt, my heart fluttering.

"Ah, fuck you scared me." Michael turned around. "Why aren't you hooking up with Christine right now?" Why was he so eager to get me with her? I mean, painting me as the hero a couple minutes ago, leaving us two alone... he's your best friend, he's trying to help you out.

"Why aren't you taking off your hood?" I shot back at him.

"Are you a teacher too? That's fucking lit. Why do I have to?" Michael's voice got desperately defensive.

I softened my tone. "I'm just worried about you. You're my best friend, and there's something you aren't telling me." Best friend. It physically hurt to say it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ok, seriously though? He tried to push past me but I stepped to the side, blocking him. "C'mon man. Move it."

I knew this was cold hearted, but I had to know if something was wrong. "Or you'll what?" It had the right response: he froze.

"Fuck you buddy." He lowered his hood.

"Holy shit," I breathed, physically incapable of saying anything else. His face was littered with bruises. "Who-" I began to ask, but Michael was already out the door.

... Too obvious?

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