I inhale the smoke. Calmness fills my body as I relax. My eyes red as the toxins satisfy me. I sit at my window ledge and stare out into the night as soft music plays.
Tears fall down my face but I don't dare wipe them.
It's been 3 weeks.
Ethan calls but I ignore him. Grayson calls and I ignore him too. Whenever they show up at the house I don't answer. I'm doing them a favour
They don't have to be friends with me anymore
Ethan doesn't have to pretend to love me
Grayson doesn't have to be nice
They don't have to care for a lost cause anymore
My mom hasn't been home for 15 days now. I'm all alone in this grey house.
I haven't been to school. What was the point. My life was only going to get more miserable.
Why wouldn't it
It's everything I deserve.
All the pain and misery.
All the loss and sadness
This world just isn't meant for me.
I hear a knock on the door. I put out the cigarette on my window sill and walk down the stairs. A red robe covering my small body since I haven't eaten in a week.
I open the door to be met with a heartbroken boy.
His skin pale and his eyes red. His hair messy as shock spreads over his face when I open the door. The minute I do he comes in and wraps me in his large arms. He crinkles his nose up. He gives me an annoyed look as he storms up the stairs.
He goes to my room and looks around frantically. His anger rises as he sees a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Ethan's never liked drugs, smoking, alcohol or any of that kind of stuff
'Why' he asks throwing the pack at the floor.
"It makes me feel okay" I whisper with my voice cracking
His face softens as he doesn't ask anything else. He gently grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him. I stand on his shoes as we sway back and forth to the faint music of the record player
I begin to sing along. My voice cracking as tears fall down my face as I bury my face into his chest. He holds me close as if I were a rare gem.
My heart aches knowing this is the last time.
